Forum - View topicNEWS: What's it Like to Marry an Otaku?
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Cloe
Moderator
 Posts: 2728 Location: Los Angeles, CA |
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Believe me, I understand that. I'm getting all kinds of heat from my Southern family (not to imply all Southerners are conservative, because I know it's not true) about my dating a Chinese boy. I've had to put up with their severe (and sometimes hurtful) disapproval for over two years. His parents don't have a problem at all with him seeing an American girl, though. sigh... I just wish these intolerant perceptions would just disappear. Reading posts like tiredgamer's makes me begin to lose hope, though. 
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darkhunter
 Posts: 2992 Location: Los Angelas |
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What happen to the previous one? Was she unlucky? 
Wow You really know how to treat a girls then, the self-proclaim Love doctor. You're making me look bad because i'm in the majority. But different girls wanted to be treated differently. And many guys have said they're going to love and charish thier partner until they die and then get a devoiced 6 month laters. It's easy to say and but it's not easy to do.
Now that's scary. 
Last edited by darkhunter on Fri Apr 22, 2005 11:11 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Haru to Ashura
 Posts: 617 Location: Termina |
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I can't believe you'd call a human being a half-breed... Children born from interacial relationships are actually prone to be healthier, live longer, and will have resistance to more illnesses. It's simple really - when people inbreed, they turn out gross. That's why incest is illegal. Dogs, if they're let live in the wild, all turn out similar, like coyotes, wolves, and dingoes. But because of human breeding, they've literally become deformed. Pure breed dogs are man-made mutations - honestly, would you expect a stupid little poodle to survive in nature? If you've ever visited a zoo, you might have heard about how zoos ship animals around to different zoos that they might mate, so they can continue to mix up the gene pool and help the species survive. So, half-breeds? I think not. Interracial relationships, and children that come from them, are completely and totally healthy and natural. Last edited by Haru to Ashura on Sat Apr 23, 2005 12:56 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Leon Soma
Posts: 12 Location: Ohio |
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Well, I can't say that I'm a self-proclaimed Love Doctor or anything like that. I just think the major problem in today's society is that people either do not know what they want or they just don't want to be alone, so they choose to be with someone that isn't right for them. Granted, there is always going to be compromise in a relationship. That's the responsibilty you have to bear when getting into a serious commited relationship. But, there are folks that compromise too much in order to be with someone and end up being unhappy anyways. Someone else in here pointed that out. One of the other big problems, of course, is one that you pointed out. That being the unfaithful and/or dishonest lover. These people just ruin it for everyone else. Proud to say that I've never joined this category and never will. Now, as for my ex-girlfriend, things didn't work out. We were both novices at relationships, being high school sweethearts. We had genuine feelings for one another, but after six years, she and I came to the point where we either should have probably gotten married or just let each other go. Six years is a long time to be in a relationship, after all. But, we had a very long talk about it, and decided that now wasn't the time for it and we broke up. No bad feelings one way or the other. We still talk, and there may be one day that she and I get back together. It's all dependent upon how we grow and learn. For now, I have things that need doing (going back to school to get my bachelor degree), and now is not the best time for a relationship anyways. I'm young, and there will come a time when I resume dating. |
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beelzebozo
 Posts: 308 Location: Aurora, Colorado |
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Don't lose hope, because then they win. But it's nice that his parents don't mind. My wife and my brother's wife are both Korean and they both get harassed by other Koreans with "Aren't Korean men good enough for you?". My wife's response is "I never meet an Asian male until I was 18 years old and in college". |
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cybernezumi
 Posts: 2 Location: Hiroshima, Japan |
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Unfortunately this is a rather short and shallow article, we need much more information about the backgrounds & motivations of the couple to come to the conclusions that many people are jumping to. But a few thoughts...
Geek-geek relationships can work out pretty well. But like any relationship, you've got to give a bit and allow each other space, while sometimes sharing. One example from my friends has been together for over a decade now. He's a Trekkie (err, Trekker) and she's into model rockets & other science stuff. Sometimes they are involved in each other's stuff, other times not. They trust each other when they're apart but with member of the opposite sex that share interests. They each have their own space for their respective hobbies (she gets part of the house to build her rockets, he gets part to put all his Trek memorabilia). It works for them. The couple in the article, its hard to say. They share a little bit of interests, but its obvious her main interests lie elsewhere. What they are is an unanswered question. I've observed that many of these late marrying Japanese women have name-brand shopping as their main interest, and the bit in the article about the designer interior she wanted kinda hints at this. Might be a hard interest for him to share with her (since this kind of shopping tends to be a girlfriends-together kinda thing). As has been pointed out, it does sound like she may have had some unrealistic images of marriage (any marriage). But if she'd married a pachinko player, at least her living room wouldn't have been cluttered with anime figures (and he'd probably never be home either). That might actually be a problem, he's at home more than she'd expected a Japanese salaryman husband to be... The Girl's Guide to Geek Guys is a more positive & kinda tongue-in-cheek article on more or less this subject (but from a western POV). |
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Demaar
Posts: 84 |
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I think tiredgamer should have included a "the following views are not neccessarily the same as the poster of this message" disclaimer, 'cause I think he/she is just saying how Japanese society would react to the suggestion of letting more foreigners marry Japanese women, rather than his/her own personal view. As for the rest, the Japanese stereotypical male IS a dominating figure whom expects to be in charge of the relationship. Again, may not be tiredgamer's personal view, but what they've witnessed and expect to be the outcome. Of course, tiredgamer hasn't responded since, so I may be entirely wrong. But I have a feeling he/she isn't actually racist, just explaining how racist Japanese society can be. |
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Sydney2K
Posts: 219 Location: Australia |
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Wasn't tiredgamer saying that it wasn't him/her who was making the suggestion but Japanese people making the suggestion? That it's Japanese people who are making the suggestion that it would be horrible for a Westerner to marry their daughters? For a Westerner to say that was the solution would be 'insulting' to Japanese people? Widya Santoso EDIT: Eeep, I didn't read Demaar's response. But yeah, we're on the same wavelength. |
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TiredGamer
 Posts: 246 Location: Florida |
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Godwin's Law strikes hard and fast. Being called a racist Nazi... well, let's get to the real reply.
I appreciate the two people who did not jump to conclusions. At least some readers picked upon the contextual cues I provided. I debated with "quoting" the offending word, but I foolishly believed the readers here up to the task of understanding context and not assuming I was calling half-Japanese "half-breeds". Of course this is the Internet, so I should know better. I won't run more off-topic by trying to explain my own mixed parentage to defend myself. It all gets rather boring, actually. Let us just suffice with "well crap, I certainly didn't mean that" shall we? What I wrote still stands: that Japanese society has a poor attitude towards foreign marriage and half-blood children born of those marriages. This is only a general sentiment, and I have known Japanese who are more open-minded. But their parents are always "marry this girl" or "marry that boy" which are, of course, Japanese women and men. And in general, many Japanese are perfectly content with looking towards home for a mate. If one does marry a foreigner, I'm not suggesting there is a huge riot... but most families will be very, very scandelised. Just read the article and see how the fellow's mom reacted when he wanted to dress up... now consider that that reaction is for something so trifling. And linlin: I know there are guys who are nice, I've known a few myself. It's not really something boys are brought up to be, so much as a prevailing attitude in the culture. As for sleeping around, I don't think men are nearly as taken to task for it when they're caught as women traditionally were. I'm more amazed that the culture seems to be changing that particular aspect. It's still kind of creepy that it's tolerated in marriage, but for whichever wind the ships sails... And GATSU, that was a great troll. Factless, full of trash, and utterly pointless. I salute thee. |
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GATSU
Posts: 15688 |
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tired:
Yes, blame other people for not being clear in the first place.
And the kid who shot up that Red Lake school was of mixed heritage.
Fair enough.
Yeah well, if the Emperor can consider giving his title to a girl, then regular parents can consider giving their blessing to a heterogenous couple.
Well they're either going to have to change their attitudes or die out like the dinosaurs.
It's probably because the men who are sleeping around aren't doing their jobs as husbands or providers anymore.
When all else fails, play the blame game. |
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Hiromi
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ahh, Im I one of the few people who saw the word " half-breed" and Didn't thing "racist". Yes I can see how people could be take that the wrong why, but I thought most people would see that tiredgamer was making a vaild point. And before anyone gets the chance to call me a racist, I am a black bi-sexual that has had realtionships with black, white and hispanic partners. And I live in the South and have I Southern Bapist family that has threaten to kill me if I was seen with some one of the same sex.( I keep my gender secert for a reason.) I agree that tiredgamer's could have been worded things differtly, but GATSU and darkhunter are the LAST people that should be correcting him/her. Althoght I am very new to the ANN forums. I have been on several forums where the both of you have been last then proper with words.
Has for what Haru to Ashura, that all true, but thats not whats being talk about. Have a baby with ones race is not incest. And there is a sertion dignetiy with have and child that share the same race in all races( by socities standers). They share the same histroy, same hardships that anyother race may be famliar with, but not truly understand. Also if a race is dying out have people from anyone race help "repopulate" the race isn't doing any thing but creating a news race. This my sound impersonal,and it is, but to save a race, the race must have children amugist themselves. And if this is about saving the cultrue, have forengiers come in with there take on the Japanese cultrue is not going to help. This way I don't join or leave many Forums. Cause people, rather then read something then thinking about what the person is try to say or see it from that persons point-of-view, thay see what they want ( which is often not what the author was trying to rely) and make judgemental and often mean comments abotu the person and the commet. If the post tiredgamer made was turly ment to be hurtful, it would have been gone. |
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genman
Posts: 40 |
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I am an otaku* that went to Japan, learned Japanese, married a Japanese otaku* and we appear in most respects a perfectly normal, happy couple. We do go to conventions (but don't cosplay), buy and watch anime together, listen to J-Pop and anime music, post stuff about anime on the Internet, etc. We also have some other hobbies (hiking, sea kayaking, international movies and food) that we share, and some we don't (gaming and comp. programming for me, art/design/writing for her.) We both live in the US, though it would have been easier for her if we stayed in Japan.
[* otaku meaning, spends lots of money and time on a hobby that many consider wacky, not the Otaku no Video sense of the word. ] Really what brought us together in the end were common values, education, and approximately balanced physical apperance, though interests like anime and such provided a basis for conversation and activities. What sustains us is understanding, empathy, respect. The most difficult part has been communication and stress from living in the US (for her). Honestly, I know a lot of international marriages go to shit because relationships are difficult even in the best of environments. As for how society (both) react in terms of "White Man + Asian Women", both societies are stupid and unfair. Having "half-breed" children would make me happy, the children may be not so, but I think everyone has difficulties both internal and external regardless of how average they appear. For those of you who can read Japanese: http://www.junglecity.com/essay/getalife/index.htm How I found a Japanese otaku girlfriend: http://maison-otaku.net/~genman/diary.html |
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.Sy
Posts: 1266 |
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And it's going to make little Hana feel especially good after she's born. I hope for her sake that she never meets anyone who tells her things as mean as this. 
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