Twilight Out of Focus

Episode 9

They call them “hard truths” for a reason. Yoshino seems to have avoided them for most of his life up to this point, quite possibly on purpose. His goal of finding a hot boyfriend appears to have consumed most of his life, to the point where he isn't even aware that he's talented and may have things to offer besides his physical appearance. I said last week that he was poisoned by shoujo romance, which has a lot to do with how he's historically interacted with the world: his value is his cuteness, and his cuteness is in service of romance. Romantic leads are cute and maybe a little clumsy and so that's what Yoshino strives to be. He'll let his other skills slip out in service of his goal but ultimately not being aware of his abilities is a wall he's built for himself. If he focuses on romance, after all, then he won't have to think about anything else.

But he does think about other things, as this episode nicely shows. It's not until Kirito lays into him, though, which is important. When the film club's second years are preparing to shoot a music video, Kirito is desperate to be on the crew, but Yoshino is chosen instead. Yoshino, when he's finished being shocked that his Goth roommate has a specific goal he's working towards, offers his place to Kirito, only to have the other boy go off on him. He gives every appearance of not wanting Yoshino's pity but that's not really what he's saying: his actual concern is for Yoshino, not himself. He's seen his roommate go through clubs like tissues, proving his talent only to throw it away in pursuit of a frivolous goal. When Yoshino offers to step aside for him, he's just doing the same thing over again. Kirito's statement about how he invited Yoshino to join the club because he thought he'd be good at it and devote himself to it is him calling Yoshino out. Kirito is pointing out that Yoshino isn't just a cute face, he's a full person with things to offer if he'd take his head out of the sand.

It may be the first time anyone has said that to Yoshino. He's certainly shocked enough that the conversation sticks with him, making him rethink everything that's happened thus far. That includes his relationship with Rei. Are they boyfriends? Or is Rei just going along with him for reasons of his own? Yoshino's not sure and that's an uncomfortable position to be in. It's also one he's been thinking about even before Kirito; over lunch, Rei comments how he should spend more time with his friends rather than his boyfriend and Yoshino realizes that he sees his friends more than he sees Rei. Nothing is going the way he planned in his fantasies and that's the hardest truth of all.

It's also one he'll have to work with because it doesn't look like Rei's going to break up with him. This week has a definite sense of Rei wanting to take care of Yoshino without taking advantage of him, even if Yoshino is trying hard to be taken advantage of. Rei's consideration could show his disinterest but I don't think that's the case. He has to know that everyone calls him garbage for his behavior, and maybe he's trying to do this right. He's not all that forthcoming with his feelings, so we're left to parse his behavior to try to figure it out. That puts us in the same position as Yoshino, which isn't a bad storytelling technique. If only I could be sure that his blank expression was on purpose instead of the awkward default for all background characters in this episode, I'd be much more confident in my analysis.

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Twilight Out of Focus is currently streaming on Crunchyroll.