Forum - View topicAnswerman - How Often Do Japanese Teenagers Live Alone?
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Tuor_of_Gondolin
 Posts: 3524 Location: Bellevue, WA |
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Yeah, as others have pointed out, there are over 320,000,000 people in the US of A. With that many people, even at very low probabilities, things will nonetheless happen. The Press, bless their hearts, are only too happy to shove it down our throats whenever something bad *does* happen. This leads to an emotional impression that there is danger around every corner, which in turn leads to paranoia and over-protectiveness. But aside from all of that, I think kids *have* to be exposed to the real world, and that keeping them under your wing out of an excessive sense of protectiveness will actually harm them in the long run, because they won't mature properly. Yes, there is a certain amount of risk letting them explore the world on their own, but *not* letting them do that creates a far greater risk of social/emotional ignorance and an inability to navigate the various things that adults need to handle. A good parent, IMO, knows how to balance the need for safety with the need to let kids develop, and these days, I think that few parents are able to do that. |
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yuna49
 Posts: 3804 |
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I moved to a less-expensive home in a relatively upscale suburb so my daughter could attend public school there. I think you're making vast unwarranted generalizations from wherever "here" is for you. And, as for violent crimes, the rate has been falling consistently for over two decades now. 
Unfortunately the public's beliefs about crime have little to do with facts and more to do with media pandering and fear-mongering by right-wing politicians. 
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Chiibi
 Posts: 4829 |
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Yes, yes, I'm sure the media quota is a high contributing factor to scare people but seriously, if you just WALK around the mall near my town, if you talk to police officers or know people who have witnessed all the violence and drug abuse happening, it does not feel like paranoia at all; it feels real. I live in western PA and there has always been drug problems here. I mean, I saw a teacher get arrested for having heroine. I saw it, okay? It feels somewhat safe in my neighborhood but if you just travel about ten miles, it doesn't feel like that anymore. I can't just handwave it away with "the media is overexaggerating". Last edited by Chiibi on Wed Jan 18, 2017 8:05 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Megiddo
 Posts: 8360 Location: IL |
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One thing that I am proud of with my church is that they send out 18 and 19 year olds and have them live on their own for a couple of years far away from home, usually in a very different environment than what they're used to (I lived in El Salvador for instance). It's a way to see the world for how it really is and ensures that our childhood which may have been coddled in a protective bubble is no longer chaining our individuality down. As a society, we cannot live in a bubble. Kids today who never get the chance to experience independence until university are going to have real troubles when they finally exit their bubbles.
In just a matter of a decade Halloween has gone from a time where I bought 10 big bags of candy to hand out to where absolutely nobody knocked on my door this past year, a first. All you have to do is look at what we've done to Halloween to see that America at large is fueled by irrationality, mistrust, and paranoia of our fellow neighbors. It's ridiculous. |
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yuna49
Posts: 3804 |
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I'm not saying that you are exaggerating the situation where you live, but the US is a vast and diverse country. Perhaps you would choose to move elsewhere if you had children. I would. |
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Chiibi
Posts: 4829 |
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That it is. Cities are probably the most unsafe places....every city has its good spots and bad spots...but some are worse than others. |
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leafy sea dragon
 Posts: 7163 Location: Another Kingdom |
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The boogeyman now, rather than pedophiles or druggists, are terrorists. I have seen commercials unironically asking viewers if they know their children will be safe in the event of a terrorist attack, treating them as if they were natural disasters. Though frankly, if children are unsafe from terrorists, I'd say adults would be too.
However, something no one here has mentoned is that I think what some parents are just as afraid of--the trouble that can fall on these children--is the trouble they themselves might cause. Who's to say their kids aren't jumping on other people's cars or vandalizing storefronts when they're not away?
Yeah, it's hard for me to imagine, as I live in an urban area with high crime and where the gangster lifestyle is still popular. I've always wondered how kids in Japan can keep free of bad influences. Surely there must be a few of those delinquents everywhere doing some recruitment.
If I were to take a guess, they're probably quite heavily tied: Since a lot of kids in Japan live without their parents, I'll bet teachers and other school staff function as their parental substitutes, considering they take up parent-like roles of being role models, assisting the kids when they need help or emotional support, and otherwise being there when the kids need it.
Also depends on the parents. Some want to put some independence into their children (which I'd guess yours was like), whereas some other parents prefer to keep their children dependent, either as company, out of fear something bad could happen to them when they're not looking, or, in some more troubling cases, to keep their wings clipped and remain submissive.
I'd have to disagree with you there, at least where I live. The specific neighborhood where I live is at the border between the territories of two gangs, and while the gangsters will leave you alone as long as you leave them alone (but if you help them, they'll help you tenfold), I would be too afraid for kids to get caught in a bad situation. Especially since there are a lot of crazy drugged people on the streets. The school bus stop where I used to get off at had this one homeless guy who was always drugged up, who was incredibly creepy and once tried to climb onto the bus. The driver had to physically stop him. Well, there's also how very automobile-dependent this area is. A kid COULD walk to and from school...if they have the time, the stamina, and the dedication to walk 8 miles or more, which is the distance I had to travel from home to my elementary school. (It was 15 miles with my middle school and 13 for my high school.) It really is just miles and miles of neighborhood with no non-residential places except churches, surrounded by mountains, horse ranches, and empty fields before you find any place to actually travel to. On the other hand, the town where I went to college was pretty safe. It was full of people high on marijuana, but they were harmless (if sometimes physically intrusive). I stayed right next to a police station, and it didn't seem like they had much to do besides catching drunk drivers (which is still pretty dangerous though--which reminds me, there are a lot of reckless drivers here, but that's a matter of concern for adults too).
I think I grew up right during the transition, as I knew about the concept of latchkey kids, but they were viewed negatively--or at least, the parents of latchkey kids were views negatively as being negligent and uncaring. I also knew about the "Won't anyone please think of the children?" political campaign, though I didn't really know what it was in relation to.
I'd say that the prevalence of drug dealers is really more about population density and ease of travel. Logically, a drug dealer will get the most profit if there are a lot of clients, and where are there a lot of clients? Where there are a lot of people. If you ever check out Drugs, Inc. on the National Geographic Channel, you'll see that a drug network exists in pretty much every major city in the United States and Canada (though how visible they are varies a lot). It's small rural towns where they're less common or even nonexistent. There just isn't a viable market out in the sticks even if you're the only dealer around. I really have no idea how it works in Japan though. Maybe the Yakuza handles most of that. In any case, there isn't the same kind of urge to rebel in Japanese kids as there are in American kids.
Sometimes, that's intentional. I once met these parents whose son continued to speak like Elmer Fudd well into middle school because they thought it was so cute.
Despite the general super-protective stereotype of parents here in the Unites States, there's been an increase in households where both parents work (due to a combination of wages not keeping up with inflation and the exploding price of land, especially after the real estate bubble burst), meaning that their children will have to be by themselves for extended periods of time. This is treated as a reluctant fact of life. You can also see the desire for independence here in how so many teenagers look forward to going to college because they can be by themselves for once. Interesting you have such accepting parents though. Is that normal in Malaysia? There's the stereotype of the Asian parent here, who railroad their kids into high-paying, risk-free jobs and treat the arts and other creative fields like poison.
It's 18 years of age in California. I strongly suspect this is due to huge amounts of underage drinking. Those under 18 years old can only get a permit, which allows them to drive under certain conditions, such as having someone 25 years or older accompanying them.
Heh, sounds like that decaying mall in Chicago--the police station there was made BECAUSE there was so much gang activity there. In any case, you speak like a lack of respect for authority is inherently a bad thing. (My stance is that respect for authority must be earned: Blind obedience is just as bad as anarchic rebelliousness.)
Nah, my local news IS like that. There are at least five news stories of someone who was killed, seriously maimed, arrested, or abducted every day. |
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Chiibi
Posts: 4829 |
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It IS....when you want to keep people safe on the streets but I'm not just talking about police here. It's like kids don't respect any adults now. A local teacher told me that when she asked a student to "please pick up" a folder he purposely threw on the floor, he told her to "go f**k herself". .............there's something wrong with that. When I was in school, I didn't DARE speak to my teachers like that and I never heard any of my classmates talk that way either....not even the more rebellious ones. |
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DerekL1963
 Subscriber Posts: 1119 Location: Puget Sound |
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Nobody is saying that there aren't any localized bad spots - only that the vast majority of the country (contrary to popular opinion) is pretty safe. You and others keep trying to generalize from your local conditions... which doesn't work all that well. IIRC, you live in a large metro area with a population in the millions - coming up with five such stories a day isn't that hard even if the vast majority of the people don't live in bad spots. |
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Mr. Oshawott
 Posts: 6773 |
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If you're seeing kids performing any erratic manners this severe, then the parents might done something nightmarish to them and/or they might have experienced a horrific event involving other malevolent adults. Kids (at least most of them) don't just go into an outrage right out of the blue. |
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leafy sea dragon
Posts: 7163 Location: Another Kingdom |
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Yeah, that's pretty extreme...but at the same time, I have seen that behavior myself. If adults don't have any real means of discipline, that's how the kids are going to behave because they know the adults can't really do anything to them.
Of course. But my point is that there are places where keeping children protected at the cost of their freedom IS an understandable thing to do, that this is what I experienced growing up (which was the 90's, right around the apex of that chart put up earlier--and on top of that), and that it exists, as some people here seem to be saying that such levels of danger don't exist in the United States.
I would suspect the other way around--if there aren't any disciplinary forces around a kid, they're more likely to not take adults seriously. Little kids (like, as in those 5 years old or younger) are naturally egotistical, as they don't yet understand the concept of others vs. self. Ordinarily, other people exerting their authority over these kids will temper that egotism and allow them to develop a proper sense of others vs. self, namely that they're not godlike. Logically, if such exertion never occurs, the kids will never properly develop that sense. |
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Mr. Oshawott
Posts: 6773 |
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"Disciplinary forces"... I sense an ominous meaning being hidden within these choice of words...
"Naturally" egotistical...I'm not sure if I'm buying this, as small kids do have varying personalities of their own...
...or it could end up encouraging that egotism even further. I think kids would learn the power of hospitality much better if they were surrounded by hospitable people instead of people that try to force compliance through aggression. |
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leafy sea dragon
Posts: 7163 Location: Another Kingdom |
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I don't have any. It's the most general phrase I can think of in regards to adults making sure kids don't misbehave or cause trouble (or too much trouble). In addition, I would actually say that while you're right in that some kids will react differently to the same scenarios than others, excessive hospitality will spoil a kid and could REALLY make them think they can get away with everything. |
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. And I started doing errands at around the age of 12, when I bought groceries, and later on cigarettes, for my mother (illegal as hell, but people looked to the other side).
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