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ANNCast - Chewing the Fate

It's not even about going against fandom consensus or whatever, it's arguing against the text of the novel, that is Fate/Zero itself.

A criticism that goes against the text is of course valid but is to me, personally, less interesting than one that foots itself in the text of the work.

I'm not calling her criticism wrong though, just her theory.

Kirei, whose mind had still not completely sobered, looked intently into Gilgamesh’s red eyes.

"It is we who have obtained the Grail, so you only need to open your eyes wide and watch. If the Grail can really make the victor’s wish come true, then this scene before you — Kotomine Kirei, it is exactly what you desire.”

A crimson hell. The tortured screams that the wind carried to his ears. Dancing tongues of flame. Kirei stared blankly at this scene.

"This is… my wish?”

Exactly. If this thing that was filling the emptiness in his heart at this moment could be called ‘satisfaction’.

"Destruction and sighs… can make me happy?”

Exactly. If the emotion that roiled within his heart at this moment could be called ‘joy’.

At this moment, Kotomine Kirei finally understood the true form of his own soul.

The collapse of everything was so beautiful.

People who were tormented were so lovable.

Tortured screams by his ears were so satisfying.

Burnt corpses were so laughable.

"... Haha.”

Unable to control the emotion that had reached boiling point, Kirei laughed hopelessly.

What kind of sin was this? What a cruel demon he was.

A world like this, cast aside by God, could actually be filled with vivid joy.

"What am I? Hahaha, what am I?!”

Even the feeling of hopelessness that tugged at his heart was so sweet. Kirei’s body trembled from his manic laughter. He could feel everything from his fingertips to the top of his head, clearly and distinctly.

Ahah, now I am alive —

I truly exist, right here —

For the first time he was aware of, and for the first time he truly felt, the fetters between him and the world.

"Why so twisted? Why so filthy? Am I really the descendant of Kotomine Risei? Hahahaha, impossible! Impossible! What is this?! Could my father really have sired a dog?!”

From a place that was completely opposite to his own faith, Kirei had found the truth. This ironic end was actually so satisfying.

He had circled so many winding roads. Had he been dreaming all along?

He had praised the preciousness of kindness, sang hymns to the beauty of holiness. Kirei had wasted twenty-odd years of his life precisely because he believed utterly in this sort of truth. He had never realized that his nature was completely contrary to this sort of truth.

"—Satisfied? Kirei.”

The priest clutched his stomach, exhausted and breathing rapidly from his laughter; Gilgamesh asked in a calm voice.

"No, not enough. Just this is not enough.”

Kirei wiped away the tears from his maniacal laughter, and shook his head.

"True — I have finally found my answer in this life that is full of question marks. This is a very great improvement. However, this doesn’t solve any problems. I only bypassed the process and method of solving the question to arrive directly at the answer. Just like that, how will you have me acknowledge it, and even then what is there for me to acknowledge?”

If God is the Creator of All Things, then to all souls, ‘happiness’ is truth.

But now, there truly existed a soul that had turned its back on morality and yet obtained happiness. Kirei had also only just begun to believe that this soul was no one else but himself.

In that case, the definition of good and evil, as well as the very existence of truth, had created a contradiction. This contradiction could not be overlooked.

"Within the equation from which this strange answer is derived, there should exist a reason that is simple and easily understood. No, there is definitely one. Then what exactly is it… I must clarify it, I must find it. Even if it takes my whole life, I want to understand.”

After having had enough of laughing insanely, a smile remained on his mournful face as if it was the residue of his previous manic laughter. Perhaps from today on, he would always keep this expression. The leisurely smile that meant that he had accepted the truth of himself and the world, and was able to honestly face everything. Facing Kotomine Kirei’s completely new bearing, Gilgamesh nodded and said.

"You really don’t feel fed up… That’s alright too. I, Gilgamesh, will see how you will carry through your fearless faith in the pursuit of your way.”

Kirei looked around at the surroundings again, savoring the exquisitely beautiful scenery that the Grail had brought to him.

The quantity of the black mud that had caused the entire block to go up in flames should be nothing compared to the quantity which remained in the Great Grail. When that mud was all released, what kind of hellish picture would unfold before his eyes?

Yes — its existence was like Kirei’s own; they were both things that ran contrary to ethics. Now that Kirei thought about it, there had already been anticipation in his heart from the time that he had seen that dream world. If that kind of ‘thing’ was really born and proved its existence, then perhaps it could even derive some other explanation that was unrelated to morals and ethics.

"Angra, Mainyu —“

Thinking somewhat anxiously, Kirei spat out this name.

He must find it again; he must witness it again with his own eyes, its birth, and the value of its existence.

Looks like Archer had tasted all Kirei’s hidden wine.

Although it is initially surprising, if one ponders about it, he would find nothing strange. Kirei has this habit that, once he hears of a wine of extraordinary quality, he would purchase it immediately.

The study of wine is actually a deep world without any boundaries if you wish to pursue it. Wine can fill the emptiness of one’s heart through its taste. When you are feeling hollow inside, getting drunk with alcohol is not a bad idea too.

Walking in the cul-de-sac, Kirei thought about these ideas, half-seriously.
Nevertheless, hitherto, he had never tried wine even once. All he did was to increase to number of delicious wines. Kirei did not even think of serving it to his guests.

Fate/Zero scene

To Hope: You can check out Bee-Train's Phantom ~Requiem for the Phantom~ anime, but in case you weren't aware, the all-ages DVD port of the original visual novel, Phantom of Inferno, was brought over by Hirameki back in the day.

Unfortunately, it seems like the translation wasn't QC'd because it's ridden with typos here and there, but you can get it easily on Rightstuf or elsewhere online.

I3uster wrote:

Fate/Zero scene

Okay, I read it. Yup, that's exactly what's in the show. Kirei has discovered that his true nature is absolutely nothing like what he was taught to love, fear, and respect. This is who he is. That is his "true nature." Sure, absolutely.

That whole passage doesn't say or even infer that Kirei was irreconcilably evil from birth, or destined to be some great core of evil, or any of that. It says he wants to believe that is true, and this awakening is what will decide the course of the rest of his life. He wants to believe that he's basically the human version of Angra Mainyu, because that gives his sadism some sort of glorious purpose. I gleaned that from the TV show just fine too.

He's just a psychopath who didn't realize he was one until his early twenties, because he believed that not experiencing pleasure was "normal" and that it meant he was living a godly life. (Wee bit of religious criticism there from Booch.) That's what that passage is all about. It doesn't mean he was "born evil," it means that's who he is now, and he's just now realizing it. The "how" isn't made explicit one way or the other, so it's just up to the reader to infer. The other stuff that's written about Kirei and Risei leads me to believe he had the typical upbringing of most undiagnosed psychopaths. He's not burdened with glorious antichrist purpose, or some human version of Angra Mainyu. He's a "normal" person with a mental illness that affects up to 3% of the human population, and thanks to the way his life's gone, he's got a very violent, ambitious, and dangerous agenda attached to it now.

Risei being disapproving, stern or cold is weird, where did you get that from?

You would think the novel or anime would reference the training as something tragic and not trivial if it had an impact this severe on him but in the scenes that pretty much exposit his entire character it is never referenced.

Remaining in the room, Tōsaka Tokiomi and Father Risei silently watched Kotomine Kirei off.

"That's a reliable son you have, Kotomine-san."

"His strength as an 'Executor' is guaranteed. None of his colleagues are more studious than him during training. I'm the one you should doubt."

"Ho... Is that the exemplary attitude of a defender of the faith?"

"Oh, it shames me to say it, but this Kirei is the only pride of a senile old fool like me."

The old Father was known for his rigor, but, feeling at ease with Tokiomi, he smiled. As his eyes turned to his only son, his trust and love clearly showed up.

"As I still didn't have a child past 50, I had given up on an heir... But now, I am amazed at how far my son has gone."

"Though, he agreed more easily than I thought, hasn't he."

"My son would jump in a fire if that was the will of the Church. That's how far he would go for his faith."

Though Tokiomi didn't mean to doubt the words of the old Father, the impression he had had of Father Risei's son wasn't quite such a 'passionate faith'. The quiet appearance of the man called Kirei felt more nihilistic to him.

"To be honest, that was a disappointment. However I look at him, it seems he was just involved in something that is of no concern to him."

"No... That might really be salvation for him."

Speaking ambiguously, Father Risei started muttering gloomily.

"It is a private matter, but his wife died a few days ago. They hadn't been married for even two years."

"Oh, I—"

Tokiomi was at loss of words under the unexpected circumstances.

"Though it doesn't show, he seems to endure it fairly well. ... He has too many memories in Italy. Maybe right now, for Kirei, returning to his old fatherland for a new mission could help heal his wounds."

Risei sighed in his speech. Tokiomi kept gazing straight at him.

"Tokiomi-kun, doesn't one's true worth show as hardship increases?"

Tokiomi deeply bowed at the old priest's words.

"I am obliged. My debt towards the Holy Church and both generations of the Kotomine family will be carved as a family precept."

"Not at all. I am only fulfilling my oath for the future generation of Tōsaka. — The rest will be only praying for God's protection until your journey takes you to the 'Root'."

"Yes. My grandfather's regrets, the dearest wish of the Tōsaka... this is what my whole life has ever been for."

Hiding how much his self-confidence was suffocated by the weight of his responsibilities, Tokiomi nodded resolutely.

"This year, I will reach the Grail. I will make sure of that."

At Tokiomi's dignity, Father Risei blessed the memory of his late friend.

'My friend... You too got a good heir.'

There really is no reference to any sort of friction between them. It might seem more authoritan than an American standard but I'm inclined to say the implication for a Japanese reader here is "the normal dad with genius son"