Senpai is an Otokonoko

Episodes 1-3

Gender, like most things humans make up, is an infinitely complex topic. Many people will insist that it's simple because they never really had to think about it too hard. Any transgender or gender non-conforming person reading this already understands that way better than I do but I figure it's worth stating upfront with these reviews because so much of this show's story is built around the concept of gender presentation and societal norms. I'm tackling this topic from the perspective of a cisgender man, so I won't pretend to be an expert, but I've done enough reading and had enough discussions with my trans friends and loved ones that I at least recognize I'm splashing around in the kiddy pool here. All I can promise is that I'll approach this show with as much thought and sensitivity as I possibly can and ask that folks in the comments do the same.

For the time being, I'll be using he/him to refer to Makoto. Much like the un-localized terms in the title, using pronouns for characters in Japanese media can be a little tricky, and since Makoto is a cartoon I can't just ask him for clarification. The official subtitles have used he/him through all of these episodes, and Makoto seems comfortable with the label of “guy” as of the latest one, so that's what I'm going with. That could change as the story goes on. One's identity isn't always set in stone, and it's entirely possible Makoto could come to identify as a trans girl, or genderfluid, or any other number of identities and if that comes to pass I'm more than happy to change the words I'm using.

All that preamble may feel like a bit much, considering the show has so far taken a very personal approach to the topic of gender. That makes sense—these are high-schoolers, you wouldn't expect them to be walking around debating the conclusions of Judith Butler after all. Rather, the key exploration of Makoto's gender presentation is through the lens of conformity. There is a constant, silent (and sometimes not-so-silent) pressure on Makoto to present in a traditionally, unambiguously masculine manner. He's expected to wear the boys' uniform, eschew anything even remotely girly, and carry himself according to the unwritten restrictions that were somehow placed on his shoulders from the moment he was born with a particular body type.

That experience, I think, is something anyone can relate to regardless of their identity. I certainly remember the smothering pressure of high school social life, when wearing any hue brighter than forest green meant everyone would call you gasp gay, or having to read Tamora Pierce books in secret because they were “for girls” for reasons that still escape me. Makoto doesn't have any interest in overturning the gender norms of the world around him. He wants to live as his authentic self by embracing the cute things he loves but is constantly told that doing so is wrong for reasons that nobody will explain. It's especially heartbreaking to see it with his mother, who is so upset at the idea of her child liking dresses that she breaks down in tears over finding a pink handkerchief in his room. She's internalized the heteronormative ideas of society so deeply that she can only process Makoto's cross-dressing as a catastrophic shame that will ruin his life—never recognizing that the prejudices of the outside world are exactly why he needs her support most of all.

The real kicker is how people react once Makoto starts presenting masc—they start to gravitate to him and acknowledge the aspects of his personality that have always been there. We—along with Saki and Ryuji—know that Makoto has always been kind and friendly and that wearing a wig didn't change his athleticism. He is the same person regardless of which uniform he's wearing. Yet it's only once he's dressing how they think he “should” that the other students even dare to approach him. That is a hellaciously cruel message to receive and adds much more bitterness to Makoto's journey. So it's very fortunate that he has people who love him for who he is, not who he's expected to be.

Saki and Ryuji have acted more as supporting characters in Makoto's story but already we have a lot to work with for both of them. Ryuji is the most conventional in how he relates to the world around him—save for that nagging feeling in the back of his head that his best friend sure is cute and fun to be around and looks super duper nice in heels. Saki reads this boy immediately but Ryuji isn't ready to come to terms with his attraction to Makoto. Crushing on your friend is complicated enough and the added layers of internalized homophobia and all the societal hurdles Makoto faces sure aren't helping the matter. That's why he at first tries to roll with it when Makoto stops cross-dressing—he wants to support his friend's choices but also really wants all these complicated emotions to just buzz off. It's relatively simple stuff but it's already made him a much more rounded person than this character type usually gets.

Saki is a bit more complicated, or at least harder to read at first. Her initial connection to Makoto feels a little shallow, but every subsequent scene and episode demonstrate how genuine her feelings are. More than accepting Makoto for who he is, she embraces him for it; sometimes in awkward ways (the nosebleeds) and sometimes in wonderfully euphoric moments like taking him dress shopping. It still feels like we're missing a piece of the puzzle for Saki's full character but her unadulterated joy in affirming Makoto's presentation is incredibly charming. The culmination—their cross-dressing dance on the beach, left me a joyfully sobbing mess. Whether or not their relationship will turn romantic, it's an unambiguous act of love; assurance to Makoto that Saki loves him because of who he is.

That tenderness is what makes all of this work. It's yet to be seen how much more the show has to say on its heavier topics, but Senpai is an Otokonoko sincerely loves its characters and wants you to love them as well. On that front, it's succeeding with flying colors.

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Senpai is an Otokonoko is currently streaming on Crunchyroll.