Honey Lemon Soda

Episode 4

Kai's got it wrong: Uka's not the person she is today because of middle school, she's who she is despite it. It's not always an easy distinction to make if you haven't survived what she did, though. While I still think Kai may be hiding some experiences that he might classify as “bad” or at least “uncomfortable,” he's almost certainly never been bullied like Uka has. But maybe he doesn't mean it in the literal sense. The more we see of how he interacts with her, the more it looks like he may actually be trying to tell her that he likes who she is, something almost everyone apart from Uka herself can see. That doesn't mean that this is a declaration of a romantic subplot, but it is Kai's first overt indication that he likes her as a person. Uka's not socially savvy enough to recognize his actions as advertising the fact, and this may be Kai's attempt to tell her.

But as Takamine lays out to her, Kai being her champion isn't necessarily going to make Uka's life easier. We could make a lot of assumptions about why Takamine seems to be warning her away from Kai, ranging from him trying to help to jealousy rearing its head. Since we don't know enough about Kai's middle school days, it's hard to say for certain, but I don't think it's a coincidence that Takamine's warning comes on the heels of people discovering that Kai used to date a beautiful girl named Serina…who, we learn, goes to their same high school. Serina, even if she turns out to be a perfectly lovely human being, is the sort of person who is designed to make Uka feel uncomfortable, if not outright inferior. That's not Serina's fault, of course, but none of Uka's experiences have made her trusting of popular people. And if Serina is Kai's ex (something he doesn't appear to want to talk about, which is interesting), she's even less likely to feel she deserves to breathe the same air.

Uka's painful past is still very much a part of her, as we see this week. When the hiking trail she's on turns out to be the wrong one, Uka immediately blames herself. She takes off running when she feels uncomfortable or like she might be in the wrong. It's so easy to fall into these habits if you're put down long enough, especially assuming guilt for every little thing that upsets anyone. And Uka doesn't only take assumed responsibility for messing up, she over-plans for potential situations as well. That giant backpack? It's filled with drinks, towels, and presumably other supplies that someone might need at some point. Her classmates' realization after they made fun of her is perhaps the closest they've come to understanding how burned she's been. When they later realize that her middle school yearbook might not be a happy thing, it's the natural extension of what they started to pick up on during the field trip: Uka survived some very serious stuff.

Kai has always seemed more aware of that than anyone, although we don't know precisely why. Although he's been mostly in teenage boy mode, grumping at her in a well-meaning way (which doesn't always come across as such), this week is the first time we see how strongly he feels when he lets himself. His spontaneous hug when he catches up to Uka on the trail is the most overtly affectionate he's been, and it speaks to how worried he was about her. He's shocked when she shoves him off because, apparently, he hasn't learned about consent yet, but he might also be surprised at himself for hugging her in the first place. (Although she doesn't say anything, and the possibility is left open that she saw the heart in the sky over his shoulder, it's still a very natural reaction on Uka's part. Physical contact is threatening, especially when you don't expect it.) That doesn't stop him from leaning on her shoulder on the bus; however, it is a move that also startles her but is much less alarming and makes her feel like he trusts her.

Even as, or if, a romantic subplot rears its head, the most critical piece of this story is still how Kai sees Uka, and how that allows their classmates to see her, too. When the girls in class bring her treats to thank her for helping them on the hike, Uka is beside herself. She's never been recognized in this way before, and maybe a piece of her still isn't sure she deserves it. But each day brings her one more step forward, and if she goes two steps back and comes down with a fever? That's how it goes, and I appreciate that the story acknowledges it.

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