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"Get In The Robot, Shinji"

That, plus spoiler[the EVA Unit-01 technically isn't even a robot].

Shinji's dad could stop the monsters from attacking at any point without involving his son.

spoiler[They're attacking in an attempt to retrieve Adam from within NERV to begin with, but Gendo needs Adam to fulfill is entirely selfish plan to reunite with his dead wife. So he keeps Adam in NERV underneath a city that's home to thousands of civilians and sends his kid into dangerous situations to defeat said monsters.]

Some of ADV's interpretations were off-base, but was using "First Child" instead of "First Children" really so inaccurate?

The phrase is simply a way of saying "Shut up and do the job."

The lack of empathy by the father could be because Shinji isn't his real son but a clone of his son or even of the father who was created because he could use the Ava.

I can't really bring myself to stand up for him anymore. I also suffered from clinical depression and anxiety in my past, but I don't recognize a kindred spirit in Shinji. At my lowest points, I would have LONGED for someone to tell me to "get in the [expletive] robot," because it would have given me a goal, a purpose, anything to hang my hat on, an escape for the drifting feeling of worthlessness and inadequacy. My overwhelming desire was to be able to do something that no one else could, to be a hero to someone, and the fact that I couldn't was a large part of what kept me in despair. Even though I'm in a much better place now, those lingering desires still bounce around in my head from time to time. So to a see a character given that chance to step into that role, even if it's the result of heinous manipulations, but continually and repeatedly shy away from it at every opportunity, is something I fundamentally can't identify with.

IMO Shinji's characterization comes from depression so crushing that you don't want to be given a purpose because your self-hatred has consumed you and you don't believe you're capable of anything at all, worthy of nothing. You want to fade away. If an authority figure tells you to do something, you do it, even if it's abusive, even if it's destroying you, even if you're convinced you can't, because it's the only thing you have to hang on to - but you still don't want to do it because you don't trust yourself with anything. He has no sense of self through most of the series - he is trapped inside that obliterating depression, and can be used like a tool by anyone who gives him "purpose" by command or shows him any remote affection. Evangelion 2.22 touches on this very directly.

There is a level of narcissism in that kind of self-hatred - a type of self-obsession. He is very selfish about his feelings a lot of the time, and a lot of depressed people are like this.