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Dragonball Z movie is a go...plot details inside

An old and trusted scooper named Tailgunner Joe has just dropped some info into my lap, and after taking a spin around Google, I'm convinced it's news: James Wong, formerly of The X-Files and the man behind Final Destination and The One, is writing and directing the live action version of Dragon Ball, which is going to go into production in Canada this November.

Included with the scoop was this casting breakdown; I know jack nor shit about Dragon Ball (is there supposed to be a Z in there?) or the characters, so it's up to you to figure out if what Wong et al are looking for fit the anime bill.

[GOKU] 18 years old, Goku is considered uncool and unpopular at school, but he is in fact an extremely talented martial arts fighter who gets rigorous training from his grandfather, Gohan. After the death of his grandfather by the evil Lord Piccolo, Goku finds his destiny in his grandfather's dying request that he find Master Roshi and gather all seven Dragon Balls (of which he has one) in order to prevent Piccolo from succeeding in his desire to use the dragonballs to take over the world. Trained by Master Roshi, aided by Bulma and Yamcha, friends he meets along the way, Goku proves himself a formidable, almost undefeatable fighter. On many dangerous adventures to find the remaining Dragon Balls and thus save the world, Goku conquers physical and emotional challenges, ultimately saving the world but clearly impelled to spend his life searching for the Dragon Balls with his trusty companions...LEAD


[BULMA] 20s, female, pretty, with great intelligence behind her gleaming eyes, Bulma is a determined, competitive young woman whose father's five star Dragon Ball was stolen by Lord Piccolo, and who believes that she can harness their unlimited energy and change the world like Edison or Einstein. Bulma, who has a DBE (a Dragon Ball locator device), teams up with Goku, and with him meets up with Master Roshi and Yamcha as they attempt to collect the missing Dragon Balls before Piccolo can destroy the world. A resourceful and courageous young woman who's also a weapons expert, she overcomes many obstacles with her colleagues, only to find the seven Dragon Balls ultimately snatched from their grasp--but it's clear she's going to continue searching for them with Goku and Yamcha...LEAD


[YAMCHA] 20s, "the bad boy who has no trouble attracting women," he taunts Goku, Bulma and Master Yoshi, who are trapped in a sand cave, rather than helping them with his rope ladder. However, after overhearing Master Roshi's tale of Piccolo once nearly destroyed the Earth and are preparing to do so again, Yamcha has a change of heart and not only helps the three in the desert, but becomes a valuable part of the team. An ingenious young man whose utililty truck is the Swiss Army Knife of trucks--every tool and gear imaginable sprouts from its body--Yamcha joins Goku, Bulma (with whom he becomes romantically involved) and Master Yoshi on their quest to find the seven Dragon Balls before Piccolo...LEAD

[MASTER ROSHI] This older man is a good friend of Goku's grandfather, Gohan, and Goku comes to enlist his help after his grandfather is killed. Although he looks like a beggar, Roshi is one of the world’s most fearsome fighters. Master Roshi begins Goku's rigorous training to prepare him for the adventure of finding and fighting for the seven Dragon Balls to save the world from Piccolo's destructive plan. A wise, somewhat wry man who knows as much about human nature as he does about martial arts, Master Roshi is impressed with Goku's fighting but reminds him of his failings as well. Ultimately, Master Roshi sacrifices his own life in order to destroy Piccolo...LEAD


[MAI] Late 20s, female, her features exotic, sexy but deadly, dressed in gleaming black, with weapons strapped all over her body, she's a martial arts expert and Lord Piccolo's chief enforcer. Crafty and quick thinking, Mai uses her ability to shapeshift near the climax of the movie and takes on the form of Chi Chi, a young martial arts expert who's romantically involved with Goku and later saves Piccolo from Master Roshi's curse; once she is revealed she ends up in the fight of her life.


[LORD PICCOLO] An ancient being who despite his humanoid appearance, is from an alien race determined to take over the world. Piccolo is the cursed ruler of a demonic race who nearly destroyed Earth 2000 years ago, and with the coming of the eclipse and the possession of all seven Dragon Balls, he's prepared to free himself and do the job right this time. Crafty and smart, Piccolo has some disturbing news for Goku, namely that the boy is actually a Saiyan who's destined to join Piccolo as his right hand in destroying and enslaving the planet...LEAD


[CHI CHI] Goku’s lifelong love interest, Chi Chi is an attractive, tom boy-ish young woman who has grown up with Goku. She has studied martial arts and has always suspected that Goku possesses talents that are unusual and extraordinary. After Goku embarks on his journey to redeem his grandfather’s death, Chi Chi meets up with Goku and his crew at a tournament of champions where their mutual attraction finally heats up during a training session.


[GOHAN] Goku's kindly, wise grandfather, he looks like he's in his 70s but moves like Jet Li. An accomplished martial artist who trains Goku on the bow staff, he loves his grandson and is happy to prepare a special feast for him on his 18th birthday, as well as a special gift: a 3 star Dragon Ball. Tragically, Gohan is struck down by the high ninjas of the Namek-Jins, and as he dies he sends his grandson out to do face his destiny and do battle against them...

Dear God, I hope this is fake.

And people thought Transformers was bad...

And as Key said I hope to God this is a hoax because this is ridiculous. Who's gonna star as Goku, Jackie Chan?

A dragonballz movie already came out. Didn't anyone see the last fight in Matrix Revolutions?

It is demonstrably worse than watching three episodes of the Dragon Ball cartoon. That's right, it is that bad.

Yamcha- Ummm... so he's a cable guy or something? Why is a bandit suddenly running around in a utility truck (A UTILITY TRUCK! They couldn't even make it something cool!)? This character is DOA.