The Summer 2014 Anime Preview Guide

Momo Kyun Sword

Bamboo Dong

Rating: 1

Review: Okay. Well, let's see here. Momo Kyun Sword is about a chick who can borrow the powers of some animal gods to help these four celestial girls to fight some oni. But mostly it's about tits. Which isn't even an exaggeration because literally, during the intro, after the narrator tells us that an old couple found a baby girl inside a giant peach, she proudly tells us that the girl—Momoko—grew up to also have a giant peach. And by "giant peach," she means a giant rack that looks like a peach. Not like a fuzzy peach, though. More like a shiny, bouncy peach, because the tops of them are so bright and red that one would think they're sunburned.

Roughly 90% of the shots of Momoko (this is a hyperbole; it's more like 80%) are focused on her giant peach tits. Half the time, there is zero reason for the camera to be even centered on that area, except just to look at her tits. The shots will do the awkward thing where she'll start saying something, and the camera will zip right to her boobs, only to dash to her face a few seconds later, as though out of guilt. Half the time her breasts don't even follow the limitations of physical and biological reality, which makes me wonder, what good are breasts if they're not even really breasts at all.

It's not just her, though. Every lady (minus the granny) in the show has giant breasts, and remarkably, they're all roughly the same size. I guess in fantasy peach-child land, natural selection favors breast uniformity. Or maybe it just makes it easier to communicate with the animators, because the instructions are simpler. "Oh, just draw tits. I dunno, the big kind. Make 'em swing."

To Momo Kyun Sword's credit, it knows it's about tits, which on some levels is much better than shows that pretend to not be about tits, when everyone knows otherwise. This self-awareness doesn't exactly lead to quality storytelling, though. Threadbare get-the-bad-guys-before-they-collect-the-[magical item] story aside, the first episode is rolling in overused jokes, especially of the, "kyaa! I'm naked, don't look at me!" variety. In fact, it happens twice in the first episode (although the first time, she's technically just drenched in water. Kyaa! indeed.).

In any case, Momo Kyun Sword is what it is. It's basically just a bunch of large-breasted girls running around, pretending to tell a story for 22 minutes at a time, all so viewers can have a rollicking good time looking at some boobs. If that's your cup of tea, then I guess it's fine.

Momo Kyun Sword is currently streaming on Crunchyroll.

Hope Chapman

Rating: 1.5

Review: You know, I really like the idea of Momotaro as a magical girl. I like the peach-themed magic, using the three animal companions as superpowered costume changes, and forces of evil oni to combat. I like these ideas just fine.

But I don't like Momo Kyun Sword, and I think that's all that matters. This is a pretty terrible, unimaginative show full of yawn-worthy derivative costume designs. Cool costume designs are vital in a magical girl show, even if it's for horny boys instead of little girls. Yes, this isn't really a magical girl show: it's another Senran Kagura-style fanservice-in-combat pinup parade with very little story holding it together, and girls with pink water balloon jubblies that do a weird yin-yang thing when they bounce into one another. You can see by the screencap that Momoka's breasts are devoted Taoists.

The side character designs are also as bland as they come, to say nothing of the laughable animation budget. Momoko's boobies get the most attention out of anything that's forced to move onscreen, but even then, it mostly results in stilted confusion. This is the first episode. It's only going to start looking cheaper from here, and this is supposed to be an action and fanservice show. If you're looking for lots of bounce to the ounce, there are plenty of better shows out there for it. The magical girl aspect is the only element I can give this anime any credit for, and even that isn't done well.

Guess we'll all just have to sit on our hands until the next "Momotaro as a busty girl" show comes along. I'm sure that dream is not so far away.

Momo Kyun Sword is currently streaming on Crunchyroll.

Theron Martin

Rating: 2.5 (of 5)

Review: Anime has proven in the past that it is willing to turn just about anything into a quasi-magical girl series, and this time the classic Japanese fairy tale of Momotaro gets the treatment. In this particular version of the story, it was not a boy that was found by the old woman in a giant peach, but a girl who was named Momoko. She grew up to be quite a strong and busty girl (“have two giant peaches of her own” as the narration puts it – seriously), if also quite a bit of an airhead, and be accompanied by a talking monkey, dog, and pheasant, who trained her in sword use because they knew that one day she might have to find oni. And some do, in fact, show up to seek a magical peach fragment in Momoko's village's shrine. Also appearing at about the same time are four ladies from Heaven called the Celestial Maiden Squad, whom Momoko initially mistakes for oni (because she's just that dim-witted). When the chips are down in the ensuing fight against the oni, Momoko finally gets a trick she has struggled with before to work: Possession Fusion, which initiates a magical girl-like transformation and greatly empowers her, though only as long as she keeps her focus –which is, naturally, tough for someone of Momoko's mental acumen.

What viewers are clearly intended to focus on is Momoko's bouncing bosom, which is emphasized in shot after shot throughout the episode. Everything else about the episode is pure stupid, silly, cheesy fun; in fact, if it wasn't for the fact that the character designs are clearly aimed at male otaku, the show could almost pass for kids’ fare, which is doubtlessly supposed to be part of the joke. Even the musical score, which evokes themes reminiscent of action cartoons from the ‘70s and 80s, feeds into this impression. Momoko's nature as the busty but powerful complete ditz also feels like a bit of a throwback, too. The Possession Fusion form is somewhat cool, but whether the Celestial Maiden Squad is going to be lame or utilitarian back-up for Momoko remains up in the air at this point. Sadly the animation has to depend on some big shortcuts to make the action scenes work.

Given that this series is debuting in the same season as the remake of the series whose model it is parodying (ie., Sailor Moon), I have to wonder if the timing is mere coincidence. Whether it is or not, if you're in the mood for an equally juvenile but decidedly sexier take on magical girl teams, this one might fit the bill.

Momo Kyun Sword is currently streaming on Crunchyroll.

Carl Kimlinger

Rating: 1.5

Review: What if Momotaro was a girl? Why he'd be a cheerful airhead with giant, frequently-exposed breasts of course! If you're not up on your Japanese mythology, Momotaro was the boy found in a floating peach by an old couple. Raised by the couple, he eventually sets out with his animal companions—a monkey, a dog, and a pheasant—to fight oni (ogres). And that's basically what happens in Momo Kyun, though naturally there are also plenty of anime-ish embellishments and alterations. In this version, instead of picking up her animals on her journey, Momoko (female Momotaro) has been groomed by them since childhood to be a kick-ass oni-slayer. Instead of just marauding through the countryside, the oni are actually in search of magical peach fragments (yes, that's a thing) to do evil oni things with. There's also a sentai unit of celestial maidens around to help Momoko out (and to provide extra breasts to jiggle).

This plays out pretty much as you'd expect: oni and celestial maidens arrive in town, they all mix it up with Momoko, and at the last minute Momoko powers up and fends off the oni, properly impressing the celestial powers. Who then ask her to travel around Japan gathering peach fragments Inuyasha-style. If this sounds bleakly generic, like some fairy-tail-tinged version of every Dixie-Cup action anime ever made, that's because it is. The show's creators follow the anime fantasy-action playbook the way fundamentalists follow their scriptures. Which turns us all into Cassandra: able to foresee every happening—from the sexy pratfalls to the parting taunts of the oni leader—and yet be powerless to stop them. The only thing remotely enjoyable about it all is the peach-spotting. (Surprisingly fun. Note how Momoko's cleavage is peach-shaped and how her ribbons flow down to create a peach outline around her body. Still, not enough to make the show worth your while.)

Momo Kyun Sword is available streaming on Crunchyroll.

Rebecca Silverman

Rating: 1.5

Review:

Momo Kyun Sword is a reimagining of the legend of Momotaro the Peach Boy that asks us a very important question: what if Momotaro was a girl with huge, physics-defying breasts that look sort of like peaches if we put them in this shirt that only (barely) covers her nipples and have her run around a lot? Since no doubt many have pondered this since the legend of Momotaro was originally told, the result is a thoughtful, insightful tale of a girl and her breasts, with a few other girls and their breasts thrown in to keep things really tasteful. It also looks like the question of what a female oni would wear (answer: not much) will also be pondered in the next episode.

So yes, Momo Kyun Sword is kind of dumb and has a lot of boob-related fanservice. Momoko is neither a particularly bright nor especially endearing heroine, but she is very handy with a sword. If the story were a straight gender-swapped retelling of the original folk tale, it might actually be kind of interesting, but unfortunately it tries to mix things up with references to other anime genres. There's a super team of four color-coded girls known as the Celestial Maiden Squad who have been sent to protect humanity from the oni invasion to give us a sentai flavor, and Momoko herself is something of a magical girl, able to transform with the help of her loyal talking animal companions. The only real thing this aspect of the show has going for it is that the transformation looks rather better than in either Sailor Moon Crystal or PriPara, not being in clunky CG. (It is, of course, a Pretear-style transformation.) Neither feature really adds to the show, however, unless it's going to become a battle between which is more effective: sentai rangers or magical girls. (Incidentally, I'd watch that show.)

While it's nice to see the gender-swapping be about something other than Sengoku-era warlords, Momo Kyun Sword unfortunately isn't all that good. Momoko herself is annoying, most of the characters appear to be there just to give us more girls to look at, and the one attempt at deepening Momoko's character – when she looks sadly at a nuclear family – is too brief to have much impact. If you just want something goofy and full of implausible boobs, this should be fine, but if you're looking for a story and characters you don't want to shake, steer clear of this one, no matter how nice it is that she's Momotaro and not Oda Nobunaga.

Momo Kyun Sword is available streaming on Crunchyroll.

Zac Bertschy

Rating: see image for carefully considered score

Legend tells of a giant peach that floated down the river toward a kindly old couple that cut it open and out popped a baby girl, who they named Momoko. She grew up to have enormous tits.

That's how this starts.

But then, the Oni start attacking! They're after a Peach Fragment thing! High in the sky on a bunch of floating rocks, a whole boatload of women in elaborate costumes with enormous tits called the Celestial Maiden Squad springs (or bounces I guess a-hyuk) into action. Meanwhile, Momoko and her three talking animal pals, a dog, a monkey and a pheasant, are training in the ancient art of coming up with stupid reasons for fanservice shots when the Boob Squad shows up, looking for the peach fragment, which happens to be Momoko's village's treasure. Cue the Oni arriving and a handful of fights before we discover that Momoko can fuse with her animal pals (or at least the dog, for now) to become an even more powerful and scantily-clad fighter with super powers. She fights off the Oni and then the head of Boob Squad asks her to join them and scour the countryside for the other peach fragments. The end.

So this is just a tired, lame old fantasy fetch quest premise that's also a boob show. There are a couple of these every year, it seems, and this one doesn't seem particularly special, so I don't have anything to say about it in particular except to pose this question: for people who are big on the fanservice and some bouncing breasts are all you're looking for when it comes to shut-your-brain-off  entertainment, does it bug you when the animation's really bad? This show doesn't look very good at all - the character models are inconsistently drawn, the combat sequences kinda suck, and mostly you're just staring at a bunch of crudely-drawn giant boobs that change size from shot to shot and sometimes frame to frame. Doesn't it take some of the enjoyment out of it when the whole show revolves around big wobbling tits and they can't be bothered to draw them consistently or animate them very well? It seems like you could save yourself some time just drawing two circles on a piece of notebook paper.

Just a question. I don't think even the most diehard fanservice devotees will find anything to like here, I'm just wondering if the poor animation kills it for them. I feel like it should, right?

Momo Kyun Sword is available streaming at Crunchyroll.