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This Week in Anime
Anime Date Night
by Christopher Farris & Lucas DeRuyter,
Lucas and Chris give their advice on what anime to watch with your significant other.
Disclaimer:The views and opinions expressed by the participants in this chatlog are not the views of Anime News Network. Spoiler Warning for discussion of the series ahead.
Chris
Lucas! Valentine's Day may have been a couple months ago, but we're here now for the next most romantic time of the year: tax season! So long as we're all calculating the rough amounts we owe as creatives, we must think about frugal ways to spend some time for two while we financially recover. Fortunately, as professional weebs, we know it's perfectly acceptable to trade a romantic candlelit dinner out for an evening in watching cool Japanese cartoons!
Lucas
I couldn't agree more, Chris! Love is in the air. As anime professionals, it's our responsibility to help the otaku inclined find the perfect series for an 'anime and chill' session!
And I don't know about you, Chris, but I've had just enough whirlwind romances to have a boatload of anime recommendations for every kind of date night!
With as deep as our backlogs run, watching something with someone can sometimes be the best way to get through a series, to say nothing of learning more about someone's tastes. Though I can't say that my love life has quite reached the storied heights of yours, and my cross-section of interests means I've just as much subjected dates to the original G1 Transformers cartoon as they've had me gamely try to watch Tekken: Bloodline on their phone while also attempting to cuddle with them.
Truly, romance contains multitudes, and I'll do my best to bring my advice to the table.
Are we starting this one by mentioning anime that have ruined dates? Because let me tell you, I watched the original RWBY shorts on a date my freshman year of college, and that didn't end well for reasons in the short and long term!
I know this is punching down with Rooster Teeth in a weird state between life and death, but all the love birds reading this should know that RWBY is at least a medium red flag anime in a potential romantic partner.
I was just about to bring up the same point about RWBY, but didn't know if I'd be insulting College Lucas. So at least we're getting the awkward first-date energy out of the way early.
This is a good point to get out at the beginning, though; knowing your potential partner and their tastes will inform your choices for viewing material. Which is to say, unless you're certain this person is matching your specific freak, you probably don't want to break out Interspecies Reviewers or the uncut version of Mezzo Forte for the first date.
If I could go back in time, would I do things any differently? No, but I'd give myself more of a heads up at least!
No one should throw their date (especially if they're not big into anime) into the deep end of the anime pool right out of the gate. However, I will advocate for throwing on a vibe check anime after things have progressed a bit, and you want to see if this is a person who can match your freak.
For me, that anime is probably Akiba Maid War, but I've also used Paranoia Agent and Mob Psycho 100 to test the waters before.
Viewing choices, like so many things in relationships, ought to be driven by communication and sharing other aspects of your life with potential partners. So, picking up the kinds of movies, books, and games they're into can help you get an idea of the more niche material that might draw them into anime. If they're big into sports, there's no shortage of wild sports anime to throw on. Do they like musicals? That's the perfect excuse to expose them to Revue Starlight (which, not for nothing, is its own brand of Freaky).
Anime here is but one more vector for getting to know each other better. It's a cool thing that shows you've been paying attention to their interests.
100%! Two people don't have to like the same things in the same way for a connection or relationship to flourish; they just need to have enough common ground and put the effort into learning about what their partner cares about, and preferably grow as individuals in the process.
Though, because folks are taking a chance on each other and trying to find commonality, broadly celebrated and fairly low-stakes anime tend to make for some of the best date night anime. Take SPY x FAMILY for example! It's cute, fun, and the pacing is so laid-back that it's no big deal if it has to be shelved for a while.
And it's not a requirement, but having a romantic component to a story can help kindle that date-night atmosphere. Watching Yor and Loid's adorably awkward fake-marriage chemistry can be a catalyst for getting cuddly with your partner. Alternatively, you bond over shouting about how hot both of them are.
On the subject of show-shelving, that's a component of consideration when watching something with someone. We all know of someone who wound up behind on some long-running series, continuously dodging spoilers because they were honor-bound to only watch it with their partner. People get busy! That's why easier pick-up-put-down anime like the aforementioned SPY x FAMILY are a solid choice for fledgling relationship watching, alongside shorter movies and OVAs. Few people are getting left hanging in between all four episodes of Ruin Explorers.
Maybe we're biased as critics, but I also wouldn't recommend watching an anime for the first time with a partner! Taking in a piece of art for the first time and evaluating it is already a pretty intimate experience, and I struggle with doing that when I'm also trying to be considerate to at least one other person.
That's exactly why shorter and already released anime, like one of my favs Pop Team Epic, are great fits for a date night! There are built-in breaks to pause the show or walk away from it entirely. Watching it with people I dated also helped me gain new insight and pick up on jokes and animation tricks I missed the first time!
My counterpoint to your advisement to not watch something for the first time with a partner is that the person I'm seeing right now recently airdropped me into watching the finale of Aquarion: Myth of Emotions with them (and our mutual pal and co-writer Coop) completely devoid of context, which was certainly...something! Sometimes getting dragged into the deep end can be fun. It's all about the experience.
That said, you bring up a great point about the informational power of watching something with someone else. Just as other people's lived experiences and knowledge are going to bring different things into a relationship, they also allow you to find new avenues of appreciating series you were familiar with.
Sometimes it's a nuanced new perspective on a work's deeper themes, and other times it's my sister explaining who Arale was to her future husband who had seen all of Dragon Ball but had no clue what was up with the Doctor Slump crossover.
First off, your sister's relationship sounds adorable and PLEASE give them my well wishes the next time you see them! Second, you and your partner are rad as hell for being able to watch a series like Aquarion: Myth of Emotions together! So long as people know each other and their tastes, it's super easy to have fun and cute moments sharing media.
That's also why I think genre fare like Cowboy Bebop or Fullmetal Alchemist are so often watched by couples with varying degrees of anime familiarity. It's easy to recommend Bebop if you know the person or people you're interested in like novel takes on westerns, or FMA if you're sweet on someone into grounded fantasy.
If the chatter from my co-workers talking about catching shows like Vinland Saga and Jujutsu Kaisen on Netflix with their significant others is any indication, you're probably onto something there.
Now, the counterpoint to all this casual coupled cuddle-watching is the possibility of people who are already deep in the anime fandom to start dating each other, and in my opinion that's where the recommendation train can get rolling. Now you're no longer trying to gauge a partner's interest in getting into a whole new medium; you're swapping info about key components of your hobbies and interests!
Absolutely! There's no joy greater than finding out that someone you like can go sicko-mode on something you're into!
I don't need a partner to be able to have an academic conversation with me about how Death Note unintentionally offers a fascinating blend of latent homoeroticism and misogyny; but it's nice that I'm with someone who also has that very specific super power!
Watching something you can be mutually critical of is a great way to engage in a relationship; I'm so happy for you that you've found that. Remember that this also works for co-watching something truly contemptible and riffing on it. Which is my way of saying I hope you've put your relationship to the test through Netflix's live-action Death Note.
A bad movie/show night is great on a date too! I haven't pulled this lately, but back in college, I watched the infamous English dub of Ghost Stories with a few people I was interested in during spooky season. Though an ex and I were strong enough to get through about three episodes of Neo Yokio before even making fun of the show stopped being fun.
But getting back to good dating anime suggestions: Someone you're seeing being an established weeb is cool because it gives you that more experienced window into their tastes. Learning which Gundam they like, and why, lets you tailor further conversation and recommendations. It even helps schedule additional date nights. If Giant Robo is an important series to someone but I haven't seen it yet, that's the perfect reason to finally catch the series while learning more about someone I care about!
Weirdly enough, dating weebs helped me catch up on a lot of casual anime that would probably still be a blind spot for me if not for those relationships.
I'm not sure I would have ever caught up on the works of Studio Ghibli and Hayao Miyazaki if not for the people I dated, and I'm glad they gave me an excuse to finally catch up on some of the most front-facing work in the anime medium!
There's a reason I brought up backlogs earlier. This is also a perfect place to once again tout the value of physical media, in this case, how it contributes to watching something...physically! That is, if there's an anime on your partner's list that isn't available for streaming, then having your copy of something like Baccano! or Samurai Flamenco on disc to bring over for date night can be a winning move.
It makes these anime something you or your loved one might not have seen at all if not for the happening of your relationship. That's kinda special, at least as far as watching shows goes.
Oh my god, yes. If you're reading this, I cannot stress enough how important it is to engage with your hobby of choice beyond just passively experiencing it if you want to connect with other people! Since we're talking about anime, that next step could be researching and collecting physical media, cosplaying, or even writing about the shows and industry that mean so much to you! Taking this next step will make you a much more interesting and fulfilled person, and make an anime date night much more likely for you.
Anime, like any hobby, can be a powerful connection point when you branch out on it with people. Going to a convention with someone you care about can be the advanced version of an anime date night. And knowing the kind of media and merch someone likes makes picking out presents much more effective.
But it's also good that you point out the pratfalls of hobby-assisted dating. That is, anime is a great way to learn more about and bond with your partner, but it probably shouldn't be the only thing your relationship is based on. This is why I stress the value of paying attention to their faves and gleaning the insight into what their appreciation says about them as a person.
Agreed! As is made clear a hundred times over in The 100 Girlfriends Who Really, Really, Really, Really, Really Love You you have to like the people you're dating and want to put the effort into being a good partner to them if you want that same kind of love and affection in return.
Though admittedly I don't have the experience to make recommendations for anime dating while poly. I imagine that's a whole other level of advanced romance calculus.
As a poly person, I'll be the first to admit that giving dating or relationship advice to that crowd can be a bit tricky, if only because a poly relationship can look a lot of different ways and things are less uniform than in monogamous relationships. That being said, so long as everyone's putting the work in and communicating about what they want from a given evening, and the relationship more broadly, things will work out as well as they ever could for all involved.
Just do the opposite of any given plotline in Urusei Yatsura and you'll be fine! Which is what also makes it a fun date night watch for couples of any identity or orientation!
I feel like Takahashi joints in general make for good viewing material, if you're looking at getting together with someone for the long haul. So long as you can make your coupling official before the leads in the show do, you're probably doing fine!
I can't think of a single author who's mastered the art of the "situationship" as well as Rumiko Takahashi has!
If you and your romantic anime viewing partner are confident in the health of your relationship, then analyzing everything Takahashi's couples have going on could be just as engaging a date night activity as critiquing Death Note!
To each their own! While I'll critique any anime to high heaven, I'll never admonish consenting adults from trying to grow closer through the power of anime!
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