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The Message in Train_Man

On one hand, it's actually kind of funny and all. On the other though, to me, it seems to give somewhat of a wrong message. It makes it seem like the way to find love and happiness is to change who you are (I kind of cringed when I saw Train_Man throwing out all of his anime figurines.)

Of course, I realize he had some ero games and such, but I was under the impression that he was changing himself far too much. It was almost, to me, an anti-be-your-self sort of message.

By the way, is it true that the forum thread that the Densha Otoko series is based...isn't actually real? I had heard it was fabricated from a series of other things.

And yes, I completely agree that that message is so very, very wrong. But you have to remember that Japan is a conformist culture, with enormous pressure to fit in with your group. 出る釘は打たれる, deru kugi wa utareru, "the nail which sticks out will get hammered down". He's trying to jump from one cultural segment (the otaku, where he is actually pretty much "in") to another (ippanjin, "mundanes"), in order to pursue the woman of his dreams.

abunai wrote:

And yes, I completely agree that that message is so very, very wrong. But you have to remember that Japan is a conformist culture, with enormous pressure to fit in with your group. 出る釘は打たれる, deru kugi wa utareru, "the nail which sticks out will get hammered down". He's trying to jump from one cultural segment (the otaku, where he is actually pretty much "in") to another (ippanjin, "mundanes"), in order to pursue the woman of his dreams.

Tohru Honda (otaku writer, not the girl in Fruits Basket) agreed with you. In his book Denpa Otoko (parody self-explanatory), he criticized the idea "an otaku has to change himself to an ippanjin in order to be attractive" heavily. "An ideal otaku love story should end up with Miss Hermes becoming a cosplaying kanban-musume helping Densha selling his dojinshi at Comiket; it should be his devotion to his hobby moved others to join his cause, not the other way around (as ippanjin think it 'should' be), but TV and move producers wouldn't dare to do that," said Honda.

Ah, but then he is just as wrong. Why is it somehow right that she should change to conform to his world, if it is wrong for him to conform to hers?

The ideal love story would be one where both parties learn to appreciate each other despite their differences, and love conquers any gulf between their worlds. Building a bridge to create a shared vision, not leaping a chasm to abandon one's selfhood forever.

Mind you, I'd do a lot of chasm-leaping for Ito Misaki...

abunai wrote:

Ah, but then he is just as wrong. Why is it somehow right that she should change to conform to his world, if it is wrong for him to conform to hers?

Because that would be a victory of a minority lifestyle, which would be extremely valuable in the Japanese society. Plus, spending a weekend at Comiket as a cosplaying kanban-musume doesn't mean she has to quit her job or something (ironically, quitting her job after marriage would be more "normal" in Japan).

abunai wrote:

The ideal love story would be one where both parties learn to appreciate each other despite their differences, and love conquers any gulf between their worlds. Building a bridge to create a shared vision, not leaping a chasm to abandon one's selfhood forever.

And that's why we call it "THE ideal love story." Frankly, I don't think that would happen in reality; just watch part 3 of 5cm/s.

abunai wrote:

Mind you, I'd do a lot of chasm-leaping for Ito Misaki...

Awwww, don't you think it would be nice if she calls you "♥ Go-shuuujin-samaaaa! ♥"?

Ah, but then he is just as wrong. Why is it somehow right that she should change to conform to his world, if it is wrong for him to conform to hers?

The ideal love story would be one where both parties learn to appreciate each other despite their differences, and love conquers any gulf between their worlds. Building a bridge to create a shared vision, not leaping a chasm to abandon one's selfhood forever.

- abunai