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Calsolum
Joined: 11 May 2010
Posts: 907
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 Posted: Tue Aug 20, 2019 2:30 pm
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It's good that people are being cautious because a false alarm is better than real incident going unnoticed, but it is pretty sad that male caregivers are scrutinized like this. I'm guessing this is more of a problem in Japan since single dads in public aren't an unusual sight where I live.
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AkumaChef
Joined: 10 Jan 2019
Posts: 821
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Posted: Tue Aug 20, 2019 3:13 pm
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I think this is an example of old cultural habits (stereotypes?) are changing. I have heard from multiple co-workers and friends from various parts of Asia describe that it was nearly unheard of for a father to take his children out by himself; that would be done by the mother only, or perhaps both parents at once. The idea of a father taking his kids out to get a meal or just to go play in the park, etc, was extremely strange to them. That was roughly 10 years ago, so I imagine that things may be changing but can't be too far off from that today.
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Top Gun
Joined: 28 Sep 2007
Posts: 4875
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Posted: Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:36 pm
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That is absolutely messed up. It's not a phenomenon unique to Japan either: I'd put money on single dads with kids having the police called on them at some point in the US.
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Amibite
Joined: 01 Jul 2004
Posts: 196
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Posted: Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:56 pm
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| Top Gun wrote: | | That is absolutely messed up. It's not a phenomenon unique to Japan either: I'd put money on single dads with kids having the police called on them at some point in the US. |
Considering we live in a era where men will actively avoid helping lost kids and kids in danger out of fear of being labeled a predator for being seen talking to a kid in public, I imagine that's a good bet to make.
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TarsTarkas
Joined: 20 Dec 2007
Posts: 5994
Location: Virginia, United States
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Posted: Tue Aug 20, 2019 5:40 pm
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| Amibite wrote: |
| Top Gun wrote: | | That is absolutely messed up. It's not a phenomenon unique to Japan either: I'd put money on single dads with kids having the police called on them at some point in the US. |
Considering we live in a era where men will actively avoid helping lost kids and kids in danger out of fear of being labeled a predator for being seen talking to a kid in public, I imagine that's a good bet to make. |
As a man, especially older men, you have to take a few second risk assessment for some situations. Bottom line I want to be able to go home to my family at the end of the day. It is sad in these times, that you have to caution yourself, but unless it is a strictly clear cut situation, jumping in is more akin to "going where angels fear to tread".
As that saying goes, "no good deed goes unpunished".
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Compelled to Reply
Joined: 14 Jan 2017
Posts: 358
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Posted: Wed Aug 21, 2019 7:10 pm
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| Calsolum wrote: | | It's good that people are being cautious because a false alarm is better than real incident going unnoticed, but it is pretty sad that male caregivers are scrutinized like this. I'm guessing this is more of a problem in Japan since single dads in public aren't an unusual sight where I live. |
| AkumaChef wrote: | | I think this is an example of old cultural habits (stereotypes?) are changing. I have heard from multiple co-workers and friends from various parts of Asia describe that it was nearly unheard of for a father to take his children out by himself; that would be done by the mother only, or perhaps both parents at once. The idea of a father taking his kids out to get a meal or just to go play in the park, etc, was extremely strange to them. That was roughly 10 years ago, so I imagine that things may be changing but can't be too far off from that today. |
Yes, in Mainland East Asia, but it's not unusual in Japan for a father to do stuff with his kids, albiet usually masculine stuff with boys like fishing and sports, so no different than the rest of the world. For a father to be with a girl on an intercity train, however might be misinterpreted. Ironically, if he wasn't disciplining his daughter for being a nuisance to others in public, nobody would think twice about it.
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