Forum - View topic[ot] Can you only date otaku?
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Viga_of_stars
 Posts: 1240 Location: Washington D.C. in the Anime Atelier |
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Well i know this is weird but I know a lot of fans say they can only date other otaku. Its true for me too being that i dont know how to relate to people who arent otaku or geeks. Do you only date otaku and what is a relationship when one is a fan and the other isnt like?
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hentai4me
 Posts: 1313 Location: England. Robin is so Cute! |
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Just as long as you're not both Hikkikomori...that relationship wont be going anywhere fast.
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jgreen
 Posts: 1325 Location: St. Louis, MO |
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No, not necessarily. If you're an obsessive anime fan, you just have to date someone who is open-minded enough to at least give it a shot. My last girlfriend hadn't seen any anime but Pokemon, so when we started dating, I showed her anime I thought she'd like. She ended up becoming a big Inu-Yasha fan, enjoyed many of Miyazaki's movies, and was at least willing to watch Slayers, Ranma, and Maison Ikkoku. Things I thought she'd like, I showed her. Stuff I didn't think she'd like or stuff I showed her and she didn't like, I would watch by myself. That arrangement worked just fine for four years.
Speaking from experience, you really shouldn't be like Rob Gordon* and restrict yourself to only people who share all your interests as soon as you meet them. You're restricting yourself unnecessarily. * Rob Gordon being John Cusack's character in High Fidelity, who infamously said "It's what you like, not what you are like, that's important. Books, music, films, these things matter." Well, to a point, Rob, but only to a point. |
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Rhesian
 Posts: 49 Location: Pennsylvania |
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One of the things my fiance and I clicked on when we first started dating was cartoons and animation. However, she's the one who introduced me to anime. Now I'm the anime freak while she's nuts for mangas. When there's an anime that I think she'll like, we watch it together. She does the same for me with mangas.
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BrothersElric
 Posts: 1996 |
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I'm not much of a dater, but I do kind of have a rule that she at least has to be okay with my hobbies (which of course especially includes anime), even if she doesn't like them herself. I'm not sure what a relationship like that would be like, but I only assume it would be similar to the relationship I have with my family members, where as we simply share our hobbies with each other, but whether or not we want to make it a hobby ourselves is up to us individually.
I do agree with jgreen though. I'm more interested in the kind of person she is than I am in her interests, and I expect the same of her in return. Although I would definitely love to have a girlfriend who's an anime fan! |
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Asako
 Posts: 751 Location: Hawaii |
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I didn't know my boyfriend liked anime or manga when I met him. Computers brought us together (no, not the internet). And he and I are both open minded about lots of things. But a lot of the time we don't even talk about anime or manga. We love talking about current events, opinions on situations, thoughts about making things better, and other stuff.
I'm usually reading the manga and watching the anime while he just takes my suggestions and reads some manga. But he likes a lot of anime that I don't like, so we have different tastes. You know, it makes me wonder. Could it because before anime and manga we really didn't have an overly obsessive hobby that we're able to socialize a little more with the flow than people who have basically started their obsession from the elementary age? Hmm, possibly. But we did have G.I. Joe, Transformers, comics, and cartoons. There are some people who were fanatics about those and may drift toward a particular group of people. The only other thing I can think to say is that the more you experience things outside of your comfort zone, the more you are able to become more accustomed (if not comfortable) to things you aren't comfortable with. It can lead to a widening of your zone and may lead to others who are not into what you are but open minded enough to either give it a try or appreciate your love for anime/manga/stuff. And who knows? They might open up new doors for you too. |
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KyuuA4
 Posts: 1361 Location: America, where anime and manga can be made |
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Yup, better to have a wider variety of interests. This will allow room for common and varied interests. Otherwise, conversation would run dry; as it is hard enough to talk about one topic for an extended amount of time. Eventually, it gets boring.
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Rozzer
 Posts: 344 Location: So Cali |
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I'm sure that any couple who are immensely into anime, would have a better chance of their relationship lasting longer because they both share something that can be enjoyed on many different levels.
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DragonsRevenge
 Posts: 1150 |
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If I'm around like minded people, I'm freakin Comic Book Guy. I dont try to embarass myself by acting all otaku-like around people that arent informed about it. I can date girls who arent. In fact, that's all I've dated.
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Kruszer
 Posts: 7992 Location: Minnesota, USA |
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Well one of my principles in a relationship is acceptance of who somebody is so I'm not going to refuse to date them if they're into something I don't really like. I have an open mind and I'd expect the woman to have the same so barring unhealthy habits like smokers, drug addicts, or alcaholics if I liked the persons's personality I wouldn't care if she didn't enjoy anime as much as I do. I don't think I could date someone who outright hated one of my obsessions though.
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Wolverine Princess
 Posts: 1100 |
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I laughed out loud when I saw this topic's title for some reason. Probably because, well, it's true. As horribly dorky as this sounds, if you're a dedicated anime fan I think it's very important for your significant other to be at least equally obsessed with anime. My boyfriend is on encyclopedia staff here, and not only do we both like anime, we have practically identical tastes in the kind shows we watch, the J-pop artists we listen to, and the voice actors we like. It's awesome, and I can't really think of a way to explain it without it sounding more than a little creepy, but it's kind of like dating myself only in male form.
You never know, maybe one of them could move into the other one's basement and they could watch cartoons in the dark together all day long. Actually, that idea doesn't sound too bad to me. You up for it, PantsGoblin? 
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Deltakiral
 Posts: 3338 Location: Glendora, CA (Avatar Hei from Darker than BLACK) |
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Honestly this might just be me but I don't understand how you could limited yourself to just one type of person. It like saying I only watch Harem shows because guess what I like those a lot, you have to expand your horizon and look for new and exciting genre (in this case different people) otherwise your going to be watching the same Tenchi Muyo episode over and over. Personally I could date anyone as long as I enjoy being with that person. Could I date someone that hated anime and ridiculed me for watching it no. But at the same time I realize that I don't want to just date only one available market, and in my case there wasn't exactly a lot of girls into anime when I was first getting into the scene. My current girlfriend (nearly 4 and a half years) isn't an anime fan, but she doesn't loathe it either. Heck she's a good sport and goes to screening with me and sometime she enjoys what we see (Girl who leapt through time) other times she doesn't (Nausicaa) like that particular anime. But at the same time I watch a good deal amount of TV/movies show that I don't particular care for but because I care about doing things for the person I care about. I think that our differences is what makes us great, because at times you need to be able to go do what you want to do with other people (Videogames, Sports, movies) and not be with the other Girlfriend/boyfriends. There are normal people out there who won't hate ya because ya love anime, it take very long for me. And personally if the person your with likes you for who you are they'll be able to deal with your 'hobbies', my girl friend is currently a pre-vet major (probably be hearing from school in a few months) and personally I am not a dog or cat person but I like to take her dogs for walk when she ask.....but she knows more then likely I am not going to be giving the animals there flee medicine when they need it. I don't see how you can't try to date as many people as possible how else are you going to find the someone..... |
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fighterholic
Posts: 9193 |
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Interesting subject. I have no experience in the field, but to me it would seem like there's no reason why the relationship could not work out if both happen to be even from light/moderate fans to otaku. I know I'd like to try and date an otaku fangirl or whatever she might be.
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TestamentSaki
 Posts: 1012 |
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Well, I know not everyone has the same likes and dislikes as me, but still I'd like to find someone who shares at least ONE hobby with me (or better said, someone that ACTUALLY could LIKE me -_-U)
Last edited by TestamentSaki on Wed Apr 18, 2007 6:30 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Redbeard 101
Oscar the Grouch
Forums Superstar  Posts: 16961 |
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Love is blind they say, and after watching Jerry Springer it's also inbred and stupid it seems. Seriously though, why would it matter? For me it's all about the passion. It could be a passion about anime, a passion about food, wine, adventure, sex whatever. As long as the spark is there in some form that's what matters. You can love someone all you want but love is not enough. You have to have that spark or you'll be in love, but unhappy. That doesn't mean you gotta be crazy and do all sorts of wild things together. It just means there's gotta be a connection. If that connection is there, but not in terms of love for anime, why should it matter? If they love you, and vice versa, they should at least understand your love for anime even if they don't share it themselves. If you want an example of what a relationship is like between a fan and someone who doesn't know or care much that would be my ex gf and I. In the almost 4 years we dated she never really got into it. I would watch it all the time and she would either watch with me to be nice, or simply do her own thing. I always made time for her, in fact she came first over anime no questions asked, so it was cool. We even made a deal; she liked country music and I hate it. So for every anime volume or movie she watched with me that's one more time when we're out listening to music she got to put country on. While I of course tried to explain how compairing the righteousness of anime over country music is like compairing box wine to 12 year old Cabernet she wouldn't budge. So we compromised, and had our deal. We never argued over it and it worked out fine. So there's an example of it working for 2 people who don't share the passion for anime. Now I will admit, having your significant other be into anime as well does make it more enjoyable. Since I've been dating my current gf for the past 3 years she's become more involved and interested with anime. She went from some I like Inu Yasha and nothing else girl to someone who watches and enjoys all sorts of anime now. Still can't get her into those great 80's action titles but I'm working on it. I've found it more enjoyable to be able to watch a series with her and talk about it then simply by myself. However, this is a nice bonus but not a necessity to our relationship. |
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