Forum - View topicDo You Feel You Could Improve a Manga?
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hentai4me
 Posts: 1313 Location: England. Robin is so Cute! |
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After reading SaiKano I cried in a manly way(ie trying not to but failing) around the time spoiler[she starts to 'die' after that final day Shuji spends with her and she has used her last pill] but then volume seven continues on with a lot of what I felt was excess.
Personally I felt the series would have been better concluded on a heavy emotional high by instead putting it together like this:- spoiler[Chise actually does die despite Shuji's best efforts on the final day. He eventually leaves that town(either taking Chise body with him or it was 'eaten' when she died). They may or may not have had sex before then, that whole sequence felt tacked on and a way of explaining how Chise wanted to have a child with him, but that woud have been covered in her diaries. While leaving the town the Military Guy who looks after Chise hands Shuji Chises' diaries and after a while(perhaps including the school festival perhaps not, that helped to reinforce the overall loss throughout the series so it may be a good idea) Shuji reads them in the lookout they first kissed at. the series ends without the 'world ends' bit as that felt a bit tacked on, true it was alluded to throughout but those could be altered slightly to make it more seem like Chise's end or the end of that Era of Humanity.] By doing that I feel that the series would have ended on a sequence of powerfully emotional pieces, which to me at least, would have enhanced the overall outcome(I would have cried wholeheartedly if that happened rather than tearing up and the occasional rogue tear at each of those points) by making it more emotionally draining. I felt the 'end of the world' part was weak and detracte from the overall feel of the series, it felt like Shin Takahashi ended the series in his head on a depressing note but he was forced to make it a 'happy' or 'bittersweet' end by his publishers. If I had ended crying instead of feeling it had gone on after its emotional peak it would have been better(even perfection has its flaws...and that series was as near to perfect as any I've ever seen) So what about you, how do you feel about the end of SaiKano? Or other series and how would you go about improving them without too much re-writing? (for example mine above doesnt create extra scenes, it changes a few and drops others while re-jigging the order a bit to get a more powerful end) |
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OnePieceFANatic
 Posts: 104 Location: The Grand Line! |
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I'd say the fights in One Piece could be shortened, cus they can be too long sometimes. Other than that...can't think of any I can improve. I lack the skillz yo, who am I to go improving another man's masterpiece!
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Arkard
 Posts: 677 Location: Poland |
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Ichigo 100%
spoiler[Why did he chose Tsukasa at the end? It didn`t make any sense in the context of the whole story. They broke up so that they could follow their own future, which I can totally understand. But the author didn't take it any further. The ending "just" happened a few years after Tsukasa went to France so we dont really know how and even if their relationship grew. There is a chance they met in France, as Junpei did say he traveled to Europe, but feeding those kinds of scraps to the fans at the very end is like a slap to the face. And poor Aya was just left there heart broken, separated from the first guy she ever loved, and FOR WHAT? A literature career? Doesnt seem all that fun to me. And Satsuki? She was totally forgotten at one point. Not to mention the under-development of such characters as Mukai. ] What would I like instead? spoiler[Junpei uses the experience with Tsukasa to finally confront Aya. He confesses and is accepted of course. They may end up in different universities but they could manage. The final chapter could happen 2-3 years after their high school graduation, when we learn that even though they go to different schools they found time to produce movies together and build a healthy relationship. As for Aya, she found out that inspiration and influence are 2 different things and her works flourish, whilst Junpei`s films get better and better thanks to her scripts. Or even better, they could separate, just like Manaka and Nishino, and use the time to mature, and at the end, it should be THEM that find each other. In the manga we see (via the camera) that Junpei is holding Tsukasa on her arms. I would like to see a big kiss then. Nothing special. Just that. But with Aya. It should be her to have been chosen. And Tsukasa could simply fall in love with someone in France, that would get her outta the picture with at least SOME plausability. Also, I would pair up Amachi and Satsuki. I was SO SURE that that would happen. I guess I was misreading the hints. It just felt so natural between those two. Eh... but what about Mukai? I have no idea, because as I already said, she was too much of a background character. ] |
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milcor1
 Posts: 337 |
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Someone needs to stop the rediculous cycle in Bleach of fight-training-powered up fight-training-even more powered up fight ETC. Why does this thing have such a huge fanbase?! Don't they see they're being led into a never ending cycle of angst and cliches? Bleach is definitely the winner of the DBZ ripoff manga without any of the stuff that made DBZ worth reading.
So to fix it, I'd hire a hitman to kill Tite Kubo. |
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Dranxis
 Posts: 591 Location: Ohtori Academy |
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Yeah, I like Bleach alot but never understood the huge fanbase or the claims to its "originality." Especially now that it's spoiler[undergoing a training arc involving themes of defeating your inner demon and whatnot... Hmm, where haven't I seen that before?]
Otherwise I can't think of too many I'd change. I have a habit of liking things for both the good points and bad... |
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redundancyincarnated
 Posts: 13 Location: somewhere on planet earth |
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i think that i'd have to change the repetativeness of love hina... it's just the same plot in a different setting in each chapter... i mean... it's still good but spoiler[all keitaro does is walk into accident after accident and run away from the dorm all the time... then naru always beats the crap outa him... shinobu always ends up crying, etc.]
would it hurt to change some of it every now and then? |
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marie-antoinette
 Posts: 4136 Location: Ottawa, Canada |
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For Fushigi Yuugi, it would have been nice for all the characters in the fairly large cast (two priestesses, 14 senshi, and others) to actually get a bit more character development. While it is understandable that some will get more than others, it would be nice for them all to get something. Then at least we couldn't joke that Tama the cat gets more development than his owner, Mitsukake (Chiriko also gets shafted, as well as Ashitare and Miboshi and even Tomo to an extent).
Luckily Yuu Watase has improved at this since then (Fushigi Yuugi was a fairly early work, after all), so her later large casts are quite a bit more developed (though I don't think any of them have quite reached the original FY size of cast, though Ceres was probably fairly close). |
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juanizzle_88
 Posts: 17 Location: Chicago, IL |
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you not-so-nice-people, my mouse when over the spolier thing and i read that chise dies.
my gf and i are reading saikano, its an amazing manga, to think i found it by doing that "catch a tiger by the toe" thing lol.. |
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hentai4me
Posts: 1313 Location: England. Robin is so Cute! |
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you may know she 'dies' now(I did too when I read the manga as I'd see the series beforehand) but that does little to detract from how powerful the scene actually is, trust me, I a fully grown man cried(in a manly way  ) for that scene.
p.s: be there when your GF reads it, score on the sentimental side! |
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Monumension
 Posts: 268 Location: Norway |
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Love Hina:
spoiler[Ending the story in volume 10. Keitaro and Naru were pretty much a couple by then and I didn't think the last volumes were much to enjoy. The story just dragged and the jokes were overused. ] Gyo: spoiler[I would've tried to give the maincharacter's girlfriend, Kaori, more substance. She's probably the most annoying character I've seen in any manga. She's a troubled girl with a sensitive nose and violent temper who goes around shouting how horrible everything smells! We only get to see her as the clishèed "hysterical female". When she turned into a zombie in vol. 2 I felt relief rather than pity. If I had seen her brighter side it would've been easier to feel anything for her.] |
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marie-antoinette
Posts: 4136 Location: Ottawa, Canada |
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And now of course you haven't even attempted to hide this spoiler. Nice 
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hentai4me
Posts: 1313 Location: England. Robin is so Cute! |
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spoiler[even worse as its not entirely true...] |
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