Forum - View topicNEWS: What's it Like to Marry an Otaku?
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Ranmah
 Posts: 294 Location: Stomp'n on Tokyo Tower |
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that is so true. The article is just fun to read.
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GATSU
Posts: 15689 |
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Um, she dresses like Nausicaa, so she does understand him. She's just not as hardc0re as him. She married him, because she doesn't want to be stuck being a breeder for kids who are meant to continue the line of some prominent salaryman or businessman. In a way, it seems anime and manga are re-defining a traditionally rigid Japanese society by making the women expect more out of marriages than domestic duties. So I'm not sure what the "problem" happens to be, since she can relate to him better-certainly no worse-than most potential suitors which, is why she married him. Besides, she gets what she needs most, and he gets what he needs most. It's better than being stuck in a relationship(Japanese or otherwise) which is strictly out of obligation.
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Mohawk52
 Posts: 8202 Location: England, UK |
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A light hearted article, but there are some underlying problems in that marrage that definately need sorting out. One question that comes to my mind was, did she not discuss any of her concerns with him before the wedding? She definately needs to take a course on how to be more assertive.
My wife thinks I'm a bit senile watching "cartoons", but I say "it's no different to you watching your soaps except yours are live actors and mine are drawings, the plots could still be the same". She's not convinced. However I'm not as hardcore as this bloke in Japan. I watch the more general titles with my daughter who loves them, but my son has become bored with it and now perfers watching sports and playing on his PS2. He might dip in to see what we're watching but he's soon off again. But there we are, can't hold it against him, to each their own I say and even if my daughter did the same I'd still be watching them. |
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TiredGamer
 Posts: 246 Location: Florida |
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The article is kind of bittersweet, because it just proves that Japan is headed for a huge culture crisis. The younger generations are becoming too obsessive with appearance and goods, and are putting off raising a family (once something to be very proud of in Japan). While women's rights have made headroads, there is still too much disinterest towards their happiness in the relationship. Japanese men can have mistresses and get almost no reproach from their society for it, even though it's probably another reason why population growth is so down. On top of that, Japanese of both sexes are still pressured to jump into marriages when they're obviously not ready (or haven't found someone).
I know this is partly to do with how Japanese focus more on emotional relationships between those of the same sex, rather than those of the opposite sex. Another article I read pointed out that more and more Japanese were growing up and remaining mentally and emotionally immature (as well as continuing to live with their families). I think the absolutely worst thing a Westerner could do was suggest allowing more foreigners to marry Japanese. It's an insult to suggest Western men steal away Japanese brides to have half-breed kids. And very few Western women have an interest in being part of such a male-dominated relationship, especially when it more than likely will be emotionally frigid and physically fruitless. Japanese wives are actually showing the signs of this kind of meltdown by the fact that there is growing interest in male escorts for lonely Japanese wives. (Of course, the fact that Japanese wives can actually express an interest in sleeping with other men openly suggests perhaps the society is slowly giving in on some fronts.) And fanatical obsessions can be found everywhere, it just seems to be, at times, more extreme in Asia (yes, Japan is not the only place some of these problems are occuring). |
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GATSU
Posts: 15689 |
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tired:
A family's not realistic in such a craptastic economy. And if they focus on appearance, then they'll be less likely to cheat.
Not sure what you define as mentally and emotionally immature, but living with extended families is a tradition in most cultures except the U.S.
Newsflash! The Japanese have ancestors among Chinese, Koreans, and Ainu, among others. And I'm sure people who are half-Japanese are going to respect your comments about them.
Hey man, the Pope just left the Hitler Youth, and he has a spot open for you.
So with those kinds of problems, change is inevitable. |
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Sydney2K
Posts: 219 Location: Australia |
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I want to know how they met. This reminds me so much of a real life Genshiken!
Widya Santoso |
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JiJi McPaws
 Posts: 40 Location: Orlando, FL |
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Wow, that's the most racist thing I've heard in awhile. It's like calling a dog a mutt. A human who shares a bond between two cultures is not a mutt, and humans aren't breed to win trophies for best in show. I highly doubt this outbreak of "Half Breed Japanese" is a problem the country is looking to stop. People are people and aren't to be judged by their lineage. |
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linlinchan
Posts: 286 |
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::sigh:: My fiance is Japanese. We're to be married next year. He grew up in one of the most traditional areas of the country (Nara Pref.) and is relatively conservative himself. I've known him for 6 years now, and I've never met a man as kind, caring or dedicated as him in the US. He's passionate and loving towards me, and we have a great emotional and physical chemistry. I think that the fact that people can still get away with relying on that old reliable Hollywood stereotype of "Math/Science Nerd smart Japanese man who is dominating and needy in a relationship but also sexually uninterested," is just sad. Haven't we learned anything about the diversity within other cultures, just like within our own? Apparently, not.
Actually, Japanese men and women have a great long history of cheating on eachother dated back to the Heian period and well documented in the literature of the time. This never really changed, and continues to this day to some extent. To suggest that Japanese women have only now begun to cheat on their husbands would be a grave mistake. |
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GATSU
Posts: 15689 |
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linlin: Congratulations and good luck.
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beelzebozo
 Posts: 308 Location: Aurora, Colorado |
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I find the article amusing, as though the writer wanted to have us feel sorry for this "poor" girl. This story could easily have been set in any newlywed situation. Marriage is never what you really think it is if you hold on to the fairy tale ideas that are put in your head by various media. Besides, it doesn't sound like he treats her badly. He eats with her and let her buy the couch she wanted. Sounds like he has better social skills than most. And his desire to dress up as Kamen Rider made me think of all the Klingon weddings I've seen at area conventions.
That said, an "otaku" marriage isn't all that bad. I'm in one. I'm the bigger anime fan, though my wife has become no slouch. But she was helped with Ren Faires and attended Sci-Fi conventions long before she met me. An older married fan couple who frequents our store said the secret to a happy marriage is to share the same hobbies so you can go broke together 
And unfortunately, Japanese people tend to treat half-Japanese people and other Asians pretty badly unless they are in the entertainment industry. It's a social stigma that is going to take a while to overcome. |
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linlinchan
Posts: 286 |
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Thank you. |
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.Sy
Posts: 1266 |
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half-breed kids... What the hell?! I'm personally confused as to who you're trying to insult. What article were you reading anyhow? *mutters angrily* half breed... What's with that. Sure, my family is mostly purely from the same city, but that has nothing to do with me. In fact, one might go as far as to say I am a lazy person with barely enough brain cells to do addition. You're obviously "pure blooded", or you wouldnt be saying this. Sorry people, it's just that I take these things personally. I don't mean to rant this badly. |
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Cloe
Moderator
 Posts: 2728 Location: Los Angeles, CA |
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Wow. I'm sure that one of my best friends, born in Osaka and now living in MN, married to her wonderful American husband and pregnant with her first child, would be thrilled to hear this.  And it's going to make little Hana feel especially good after she's born. I hope for her sake that she never meets anyone who tells her things as mean as this. 
Congratulations, linlinchan! |
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darkhunter
 Posts: 2992 Location: Los Angelas |
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That's the way it is in most society/family all over the world. Even in many parts of the U.S. interracial marriage is forbidden and look upon by family members and society. Usually in area with mixed culture like L.A. or N.Y, the problem isn't as big of a deal though. It's very common to see white guys go after asian girls here, but rarely see the opposite. |
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Leon Soma
Posts: 12 Location: Ohio |
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Don't give up. I know that it's hard to find male anime fans that, frankly, aren't wacko. I'll tell ya, the next girlfriend I have will be lucky. I'm in the minority of men that treats girls the way they should be treated. It all goes back to having honor and respect for the one you love. I guess it helps that I'm not a true otaku, and therefore not obsessive. I am more of the casual anime fan anymore, collecting three or four anime series a year on DVD, plus the occasional movie. I used to go to cons and met other anime fans off the net, but I found them to be way too strange and unbalanced ><. Reading this article and studying Japanese culture, I have to wonder what Japan will be like in the future. The last thing I want to see is a decline in the wonderful and vibrant beauty of Japanese society. |
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