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Heh heh... Ah, Answerman...


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jsevakis
Former ANN Editor in Chief


Joined: 28 Jul 2003
Posts: 1685
Location: Los Angeles, CA
PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2003 3:44 am Reply with quote
Zac,

You are the grandest of all jerks. This week's Answerman had me laughing 'till I cried. I bow down before thee.

People are dumb. And if one more person asks me "Why does Utena turn into a car?" I'm gonna hurt somebody.

This is probably why I should not work retail ever again.

-Justin
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GATSU



Joined: 03 Jan 2002
Posts: 15581
PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2003 4:36 am Reply with quote
She turns into a car, cus Ikuhara's a fan of Turbo Teen! (Duh!)

Edit: And speaking of stupid questions, any chance of an M.D. Geist 3?
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Delthayre



Joined: 05 Jan 2003
Posts: 414
Location: One of the good United States
PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2003 7:49 am Reply with quote
That tears it, now I have to see Utena. I'm sick of seeing so many confused people and not being one of them.

...segue...

This weeks captions were pretty sharp, but I still think the "rambling opening" missed the point. Anyone going to see House of 1,000 Corpses is grossly irresponsible. And you've resurrected the memory of those obnoxious commercials with that vaguely-frightening-but-mostly-funny guy screaming, "DOCTOR SATAN!"


Last edited by Delthayre on Sun Aug 17, 2003 10:25 am; edited 1 time in total
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Zac
ANN Executive Editor


Joined: 05 Jan 2002
Posts: 7912
Location: Anime News Network Technodrome
PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2003 10:14 am Reply with quote
Hey, I liked House of 1000 Corpses. It was as competent and well-made as any genre picture should be. It was Rob Zombie's attempt at making an 80's slasher pic and he did a good job. Plus there were zero CG effects, and the makeup was outstanding, which is really rare these days.

Oh, and thanks for reading, Justin. I try to entertain. I was getting "Why does Utena turn into a car?" and "What does Miki's stopwatch mean?" questions for a while, but I simply refused to answer them, and they went away. If they ain't smart enough to figure it out themselves, it isn't my duty to fill them in.

-Z
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Tenchi



Joined: 03 Jan 2002
Posts: 4551
Location: Ottawa... now I'm an ex-Anglo Montrealer.
PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2003 1:33 pm Reply with quote
I always assumed that she turns into a car because the film begins with the Sega logo, so, for the ending, since they ran out of real ideas, they just borrowed the "plot" from Out Run.

In the sequel, I hear Anthy turns into the F-18 from Afterburner, and Utena dons a magic environment suit and becomes a Space Harrier. Also, instead of the Ohtori Academy student council, they spar with Wonder Boy and Alex Kidd.
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Tenchi



Joined: 03 Jan 2002
Posts: 4551
Location: Ottawa... now I'm an ex-Anglo Montrealer.
PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2003 3:55 pm Reply with quote
By the way, lest anyone think I am making fun of the ending of the Utena movie, well, I am, but only in the nicest of ways. It's actually one of the most successful endings to an anime film I've ever seen. Why? Because, if you never see the movie again, it's an ending you'll likely remember 10 years from now for being so unique, just like Tom Green and the elephant in Freddy Got Fingered. Unlike, say, the Sakura Wars movie which I watched only 3 weeks ago, yet I already can't, for the life of me, remember how they defeated "the guy" at the climax. (The denouement was a bit more unique, so I'll refrain from giving any details.)

Another thing, since people wonder what the ending "means"... perhaps there's a dozen layers of metaphors and symbolism, with each layer being more pretentious than the last, but, in all honesty, the most simplistic explanation of all, that they're trying to escape the strange place they're in but the world puts all sorts of barriers up in order to try and keep them from escaping, works just fine for me. There might be deeper explanations, but I really don't care.
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Bruce Lee



Joined: 04 Feb 2003
Posts: 715
Location: Seattle, Washington
PostPosted: Tue Aug 19, 2003 1:40 am Reply with quote
Daddy would you like a sausage?

That was the worst movie I have ever seen!
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Tenchi



Joined: 03 Jan 2002
Posts: 4551
Location: Ottawa... now I'm an ex-Anglo Montrealer.
PostPosted: Tue Aug 19, 2003 2:29 am Reply with quote
Freddy Got Fingered is my favourite absurdist comedy (okay, I admit I don't know too many other totally absurdist comedies); I bought the DVD the day it came out, and I spin it frequently. I guess I'm part of the 5% of people that would find that film funny.
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GATSU



Joined: 03 Jan 2002
Posts: 15581
PostPosted: Tue Aug 19, 2003 3:18 am Reply with quote
Tom Green's proof that Canadian subsidized programming doesn't work. Seriously, when the hell are you Northerners
going to revoke his citizenship on the basis of Freddy Got Fingered?! Anyway, I might've seen that movie if that bastard wasn't so arrogant. I mean he thinks people want to see his cancer operation, and that they'll pay to see him engage in bestiality. Then he stupidly parted with Drew Barrymore, the one person who could redeem his reputation, and who could help him get a decent gig. Anyway, I'm just glad his 15 minutes are up.
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Godaistudios



Joined: 12 Jun 2003
Posts: 2075
Location: Albuquerque, NM (the land of entrapment)
PostPosted: Tue Aug 19, 2003 4:31 am Reply with quote
Gatsu, why bother complaining about a movie you haven't even seen? At least watch it so you can adequately proclaim the stupidity that it is...
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GATSU



Joined: 03 Jan 2002
Posts: 15581
PostPosted: Tue Aug 19, 2003 5:09 am Reply with quote
He sucks on an animal's nipple! How much stupider can that get?!
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Steventheeunuch





PostPosted: Tue Aug 19, 2003 5:38 am Reply with quote
GATSU wrote:
He sucks on an animal's nipple! How much stupider can that get?!


If the nipple was actually a laser
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Delthayre



Joined: 05 Jan 2003
Posts: 414
Location: One of the good United States
PostPosted: Tue Aug 19, 2003 7:35 am Reply with quote
I'll admit I haven't seen Freddy Got Fingered. But from what I've read and what I've seen, it's a moronic parade of vulgar wretchedness. He sprays Rip Torn with elephant semen for christ's sake! There's much better absurd material out there, and almost all of it doesn't involve elephant semen.
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Tenchi



Joined: 03 Jan 2002
Posts: 4551
Location: Ottawa... now I'm an ex-Anglo Montrealer.
PostPosted: Tue Aug 19, 2003 1:18 pm Reply with quote
It's a glorious festival of wretched excesses; for several years, gross-out teen comedies had been trying to out-gross-out the previous one by turning the gross-out dial up by 1. Tom Green turned the gross-out dial up by 10 and got rid of that other boring teen comedy crap, and, since Freddy Got Fingered was released, the other gross-out comedies just seem tame in comparison. (Okay, Freddy Got Fingered still pales in comparison to Pink Flamingoes for "gross-out", I know.) But, you know, if you don't find Rip Torn getting blasted by (fake) elephant semen funny, there's probably nothing I can say or do to convince you otherwise, comedy being one of the most subjective things in the world. For my own tastes, I don't think there's anything out there that can top it for sheer pointless absurdity (and no one say Dr. Strangelove, since that film had a very obvious point).
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Coral Skipper



Joined: 08 Apr 2003
Posts: 223
PostPosted: Tue Aug 19, 2003 10:39 pm Reply with quote
I saw five minutes of that movie and turned it off because it was so bad. Revoke that man's citizenship!
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