Shelf Life

East of Eden

It's no mystery that high-definition… removes all the mystery. If there's a flaw, people will see it. If there's even one tiny ink stroke out of place, people will see it. That's what's kind of interesting about Dragon Ball Z Kai. When they remastered the original series, they ended up recoloring over a good number of the preexisting stills to mitigate most of the damage. But even so, HD hides nothing. Even though I was enjoying all the punching and energy blasting, I kept glaring at all the imperfections on the screen. Places where the shading was patchy, ink splotches that strayed into the whites of Frieza's eyes… It's not a bad thing. It's just noticeable. Personally, I don't know that it's worth plunking down the extra money on the BD for a series like Kai.

In this chunk of episodes, our lovable heroes are fighting against the giant lizard-looking, lipstick-wearing menace that is Frieza. They thought he was tough before, but oh ho!, now he's leveling up! That's alright, Vegeta has devised a plan. Because Saiyans are stronger every time they come back from the brink of death, he has Gohan blast him “half to death,” so that when he gets healed, he'll be stronger. I was almost disappointed when Piccolo didn't grunt, “No pain, no gain.” This goes on for a few episodes, but not unexpectedly, eventually Goku tag-teams in.

Let me take a quick detour and mention something that the immature part of me couldn't stop giggling at. There are quite a few subtitles that are unintentionally hilarious. Like when Vegeta (or maybe it was Piccolo?) looks at Frieza in horror and says, “He's going to blow the entire planet of Namek!” Or later when Goku emerges from his healing tank and says, “Forgive me… I'm coming soon.” Yeah, yeah, I have the mind of a 12-year-old, but that stuff's funny as hell. Especially with Frieza's sassy red lips.

Of all the Dragon Ball Z villains, I do think that Frieza is one of the more interesting because he provides valuable insight into Vegeta's character. Without Frieza's endless planet-destroying shenanigans, a lot of exposition is lost regarding Vegeta and Goku, and how they relate to each other. It's sometimes hard to remember that buried deep within all the rubble of fighting, there is actual backstory.

Z was never my favorite iteration of Dragon Ball. I found it too long, and I thought it took itself a little too seriously. And I thought the rules that it was constantly re-inventing for itself as to how characters are always able to power-up and/or come back to life were a bit much. Luckily, Kai really speeds things along. It's still just as ridiculous, but it distills the series down to what people like the most—endless fighting. It's still not my cup of tea, but if you're looking for a good way to get the Z experience without spending 145 hours of your life, then Kai is the way to go.[TOP]

Hero Tales has the rollicking feel of a Saturday morning cartoon. The characters are rambunctious, the pacing is fast, and if there wasn't so much blood, it'd be the perfect electronic babysitter for a tween. Even for an adult, it's the kind of show that, once you start watching, it's incredibly hard to stop—and not necessarily because it's good. Case in point, as I was watching the first episode, I thought to myself, “This show is kind of dumb and trite.” But by the time I got to the end credits, I was hooked.

It's not that you've never seen this kind of story before—you have—and not just because it's based on folklore. The series introduces us to a boy named Taito whose city is pillaged one day by an a-hole of a general who's there to steal a sacred sword. Inexplicably, the two end up fighting and even though Taito is no match for the seasoned warrior, he unlocks a hidden power within himself and discovers that only he is able to unsheathe the sword. Explained later, there is a divine warrior to correspond with each of the seven stars of the Big Dipper, but two of them—the Alkaid and the Dubhe, are destined to clash with each other. As fate would mandate it, Taito is the Alkaid. He vows to travel to the capital to defeat the general (whom you might infer by now is the Dubhe), and along the way meets up with the other Divine Warriors.

Even though this story is not new, it's told in such a way that's incredibly captivating. It follows some of the standard tropes—the hero trains every day and learns how to control his powers—but refreshingly, the supporting characters aren't just there to back him up. They each have their own side stories that make them veer off the expected path. One of them has to deal with the pain of watching a loved one die before his eyes, while another one must come to grips with the harsh realities of choosing to side with either the Alkaid or the Dubhe. Even that clash is not black and white; unlike many other shonen shows in this vein, the Dubhe is eventually developed as more than just a one-sided, demonized villain.

To be honest, as much as I couldn't put down Hero Tales, and as much as I'm looking forward to the second part, I don't know that I would ever watch it again. It's fun and engaging, but it's the kind of disposable entertainment that's only interesting once. It's kind of like a puzzle—you obsess over it until you solve it, but once it's done, it's done. And that's the way I feel about Hero Tales. I just want to see what happens next. On that same token, I do urge everyone to give it a chance, especially if you're looking for a popcorn action flick that'll whittle away a lazy Sunday.

It's easy to dismiss Hero Tales instantly because of its goofy character designs and its simplistic animation. I rolled my eyes at least twice in the first five minutes just because of how generic the meat-headed characters looked. I mean, the characters' biceps actually spray blood when they power up. It is truly ludicrous. The human body is not an old garden hose. It doesn't just leak when there's too much pressure. And I'm pretty sure all the character designs were scrapped together from some middle schooler's doodle book, because they lack any kind of defining characteristics. And, while we're at it, let's just assume this project wasn't too high on the priority list when it came to budget allocation. But despite all that, if you give this show a begrudging chance, you will find that it is a good time.[TOP]