Senpai is an Otokonoko

Episode 8

You almost have to laugh at the dichotomy of this episode. On Makoto and Ryuji's side, you have a sweet, awkward story about two kids trying to navigate the transition from “friends” to “going out” and having no clue what to do about it. There are some added wrinkles, what with Makoto's gender identity and the potential stigma around the couple but for the most part it's all just blushy-crush hijinks. It's adorable, just a little melancholy, and deeply relatable.

The other half of this episode is a slow-roll explanation of how Saki became a self-effacing, self-sacrificing person who puts a smile on through every problem and desperately avoids asking anyone for anything. That includes not wanting to call her friends even when she's terrified that a stranger is stalking around her house and peering into her bathroom. While that particular plot beat is a little out of nowhere, it demonstrates to the audience and Ryuji how little value Saki places on herself. She's convinced that her relationships are tenuous and transactional and that even the natural act of asking for help seems like a friendship-ending burden. It's a heartbreaking scene that only gets more so in hindsight, as we learn what kind of family life she grew up with.

First is her father. Previously all we knew about Papa Aoi was that months/years-long string of unanswered texts from Saki. That painted the picture of a cold, neglectful father who couldn't be bothered to care about his daughter, but the person we meet in this episode is completely different from that vision—in all ways but one. He's chipper, friendly, and seems to enjoy spending time with Saki; about as far from the stereotype of an emotionally distant Anime Dad as you can get at first glance. Yet as the episode goes on, it becomes clear that for all the niceties, he's not really there—or at least not capable/willing to prioritize his daughter the way she needs. He doesn't think to tell her he'll be late coming home, or notice she's got a big ol' bandage on her knee for days. It's an almost maddening combination, where no matter how sincerely he seems to love her, his every action and decision is so self-centered that it's no wonder Saki has such a skewed idea of how relationships work.

Then there's the rest of the family dynamic, or rather, the lack of one. We don't have a ton of insight into why Saki's mother left the family—I suspect Mr. Aoi was about as supportive and involved a husband as he was a father—and Saki clearly blames herself. The brief glimpse of Baby Saki suggests she had some form of attachment issues as a child but unless her mom was an extremely unprepared parent, I severely doubt that was the actual reason behind the separation. Regardless, that abandonment has stuck with Saki, and combined with the way her father treats her, it's pretty understandable how she came to believe the only way to maintain friendship was by minimizing her own needs. It's also created a vicious cycle, where Saki presents herself as an untroubled, independent, and mature kid, so her father feels secure in leaving her alone, further isolating her.

That's all good stuff, and easily on par with the character writing this show has displayed before but god do I need a little bit of catharsis on this storyline, and soon. It's been weeks since Saki purposefully separated herself from the rest of the cast, and I need somebody to sit down and have a real discussion with her. I know we have a third of the season left but I don't want to see Saki spend another 3 episodes in total isolation.

Rating:

Senpai is an Otokonoko is currently streaming on Crunchyroll.