Good Hentai is pretty rare, and while Mail Order Maiden 28 is better than some of the crap out there, it certainly doesn't exceed expectations, it merely wallows in mediocrity.

Mail Order Maiden is meant to be a funny Hentai, to amuse the viewer with comedy as much as with sex. Unfortunately the funniest aspects of Maiden are the laughable editing jobs used to comply with Japanese law. In the span of 40 minutes, the viewer is exposed to an invisible penis, a glowing red penis and several other interesting penile varieties… and they're all the same penis! Other than this, there are a few moments of intended comedy that may raise a chuckle from the audience, but nothing that might incite sidesplitting laughter.

Unfortunately, a chuckle is about all this Hentai will raise. Again, Mail Order Maiden manages to do nothing more than the minimum, and while there are a few mildly arousing moments at the beginning of the Anime, they are quickly ruined by excessive use of looping and repeat animation. Variety is the spice of life, and the spice of sexual encounters as well. Five repeats of the same scene sorely disappoints.

As for the animation, throughout the show the aforementioned excessive looping and repeated animation, along with significant amounts of panning, lead one to believe that this 40 minute Anime was animated in approximately 40 minutes. In some Hentai, good art is sometime used to make up for lackluster animation. Unfortunately the pictures seem hastily drawn, lacking detail and finishing touches. At least the looping and panning are moderately well done; significantly better than some other low budget Hentai.

Story? What story? Although it is an exaggeration to comment that the animation may have been done in only 40 minutes, it is no exaggeration to suggest that the English script, dialogue included, could have been written in 40 minutes. If there's any story to this script, I missed it. Aiwa's voice actor, Buddy Woodward, sounds nothing like an 18 year old university student, he sounds more like a 40 year old man. Kozue also sounds a bit older than her character is supposed to be, but the voice is smoother and could merely be that of a mature sounding 18 or 19 year old. Satomi's voice actor does sound the part, but her lines are delivered with no depth and sound as if they were recorded out of context without any direction. Additionally, the actual dialog that the actors have to work with is far from the best, some of their lines fit, many others could use some re-writing. Fortunately there is a hybrid DVD available. Perhaps the original Japanese with English subtitles, is better.

Perhaps the single redeeming element of Maiden comes after the show is over, when the credits appear on the screen. Although the lyrics may not be appropriate, the ending theme has the feeling of one that might be used as the main theme for a cute, romantic Shoujo Anime. Too bad the rest of the music isn't as good.

To top it all off, the Japanese producers didn't even feel that it was worth creating an intro theme or intro animation for Mail Order Maiden! Only a kitchsy 1970s style title screen is used to introduce the show. It seems that this was a rush job by the American producers as well; the VHS cassette is devoid of any trailers for other Anime.

There is nothing in Maiden that is particularly bad, but the lack of anything particularly good makes this one Hentai that should remain on the store shelf.