Forum - View topicBest First Episode Tournament: Post-Mortem
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marie-antoinette
Posts: 4136 Location: Ottawa, Canada |
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Ikari1, I'd say that your synopsis is way too long and has too many extraneous parts to it, mainly given opinion where that section, at least in other entries, is pretty much just fact (with personal thoughts being left to the "Why it's great" section). The first paragraph in particular is really not necessary, the only thing there that IMO you need is to situate when the OVA is set in comparison to the anime (especially since one point of this tournament is to get people to watch things they haven't which means you should be targetting your guide to people who may not have seen the series, like myself).
I think you could probably cut out at least half of the synopsis and then it would do what it's actually meant to do, which is tell people what happens in the episode (or part, in this case). Here's what I would do to it:
Now, given that I haven't seen the OVA I don't think this is a particularly good re-write because it seems to me that there must be events missing. But IMO it is still a much better synopsis without all the superfluous personal opinions/observations. |
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Key
Moderator
Posts: 18454 Location: Indianapolis, IN (formerly Mimiho Valley) |
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marie-antoinette hit upon the salient points, Ikari1. I know you put a lot of time into this, but it simply doesn't read like the other entries, and in this case that's a big problem. You're inserting too many opinions and side comments into what should be just a straightforward synopsis, to the point that in places I wasn't (as someone who's never seen the episode) clear on what was actually happening in this episode vs. the series as a whole. Put another way, you're not supposed to do a running commentary when doing a synopsis, and that's basically what you were doing. As a result, the parts that should have been exclusively in the "What Makes It Great" part were interspersed throughout and tended to repeat/overlap with each other.
It's quite clear from your write-up that you're very enthusiastic about the series, and that's fine. Formal writing like this has certain expectations and standards beyond what one might do for a casual writing exercise, though, and in this case the write-up was done in a much too casual (and, honestly, also disjointed) fashion. |
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Ikari1
Posts: 531 Location: London |
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You are both right on the mark with what you are pointing out I just wish you had told me earlier so I could have sorted it quickly. Ill edit it down and remove the more personal nature of some of the comments or stick them in the proper section. Do you want me to do this or leave it to someone else entirelly to do another write up?
I was trying hard with a balance between those who had already seen it and those who hadnt in mind to be honest. I was also of the view that if you come across as enthusiastic about something personally it encourages people to see what all the fuss is about...just like almost everything in media. The part you specifically pointed out in the first paragraph is definatly surplus to requirements though. Im sorry if this has thrown a bit of a spanner in the works, I studied creative writing at university but I haven't done any formal writing for a while so I can see where I made my mistakes now. I appreciate you pointing them out to me. Last edited by Ikari1 on Tue Apr 03, 2012 2:24 pm; edited 5 times in total |
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Ikari1
Posts: 531 Location: London |
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Is this a little better?
If I'm still not getting anywhere Ill give up and let someone else have a go. You were right, after looking at it with some of the points you made in mind, I can see that I was a little too enthusiastic with my my write up. Nominating:Rurouni Kenshin Trust and Betrayal OVA part 1: The man of the slashing sword. Type of series: Historical, Romance, action, Samurai, tragedy. Synopsis: The first episode of the trust and betrayal OVA deals with the bloody beginnings of the wandering swordsman Kenshin and is set during the bloody period of upheaval in Japan known as the meiji Restoration era. During the opening scenes we see a young boy called Shinta traveling through the country side at night. He is traveling with a group of young women. The group is set upon by bandits and what follows is a particularly brutal massacre of the group and the 3 young women that have been protecting Shinta. Shinta is saved by a master swordsman of the Hiten Mitsurugi style, Seijuro Hiko. Later Seijuro returns to the scene to find that Shinta has amazingly buried all of the corpses including those of the bandits and erected grave markers. He tells Shinta that he will train him in the most deadly of all the sword techniques and that his name from then on will be Kenshin rather than Shinta. We are later shown through a series of flashbacks that Kenshin; now as a teenager, cuts his training short to fight in the restoration struggles despite Seijuro's advice that he would live a life as a murderer if he did. Kenshin maintains that he wishes to save people and use his skills for the people. This scene highlights one of the key dilemmas to the episode and the kenshin series as a whole as to how Kenshin should use his sword. We are then shown how Kenshin is recruited to fight as an assassin for a man named Katsura of the Choshu Samurai clan. The story does not always follow a chronological pattern with some things only becoming clear later on in the episode. The story in the first episode largely deals with Kenshin’s life as an assassin but there are also flashbacks every now and again that show Kenshin's training with his master. These scenes offer us some insight into Kenshin's beliefs and his reasons for fighting. Whilst a lot of the OVA is very dark with a lot of violence, the introduction of Tomoe towards the end of the first episode allows us to see the guilty and immature side to Kenshin's character. She witnesses Kenshin fighting an assassin and then passes out whilst trying to care for him. She is beautiful and comes across as very kind but she hides a tragic past that brings an even greater feeling of sadness to the story once she and Kenshin meet for the first time and her affect on Kenshin's heart begins. Her effect on Kenshin is immediate despite the fact that their meeting in the first episode is fairly short. The episode ends on a powerful note that naturally draws you into the next episode. What makes this great: The story opens most notably with '' In memories: A boy meets the man'', by Taku Iwasaki. Iwasaki wrote all of the musical score for this OVA and it really is some of the most beautiful and emotive music I have ever heard in an anime series to date. It utterly sets the atmosphere and drags you into the story almost by its self. During the opening scenes the art and camera work highlight and captures the savage and dark nature of the period that the story is set in. I particularly like the way that water/sake is used in some of the flashback scenes where upon Kenshin is shown looking at his reflection shortly before we see a cut into a past memory. It's a subtle way of showing the audience that Kenshin is always questioning what he is doing and that he is beginning to be torn in two. Basically the conflict between the man Killer side of Kenshin and the kind, caring side of Kenshin that defines the series, begins to take shape. This first part of the OVA is very violent and effectively shows the horrors that Kenshin endures and lives with everyday. The fights are beautifully put together and animated with a lot of emphasis placed on accurately capturing the vibrant scenery of Japan during that period. The violence is graphic but not to the point that it becomes gratuitous. It suits the themes and symbols that come up in the series and is an important image that represents the savage darkness in the daily lives of people fighting during the Meiji restoration. The music is amazing and constantly compliments the scenes it is played in. The art and storytelling bring the dark world of the Meiji restoration period to life with beautiful visuals and fast paced action. It really is a unique and intense experience to watch and will drag you into Kenshin's story easily if you can get over the predominant darkness of the plot. [url] anime#210[/url] Last edited by Ikari1 on Tue Apr 03, 2012 2:49 pm; edited 2 times in total |
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marie-antoinette
Posts: 4136 Location: Ottawa, Canada |
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That's fair but I think the majority of the people who are using the guide heavily will be those who haven't seen the episode and are unable to do so before voting, as I had to do for the first group. Though a quick synopsis is probably also helpful for those who have seen the show to remember exactly what happens, in case it has been awhile. And the new write-up definitely gives me a better idea of what happens in the episode than I did before. It's still longer than most but I'm assuming that since it's an OVA it is also longer than a standard television episode and so some extra length is to be expected. |
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Ikari1
Posts: 531 Location: London |
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Yep no you are right. I was thinking more of passing onto to people how much I enjoyed the show rather than actually telling them what happened in it so I got carried away. The first episode is 30 minutes long not including the ending credits but origionally I had some trouble with the write up because I was sure that I origionally saw the first OVA as two episodes and not four as my boxset splits it up into. Another problem was that I watched the DVD on my PC which for some reason cuts out the ending credits of the first part and skips straight into the second half when using VLC player which is why the origional post is partly edited so much. The origional post was for the first two episodes |
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Dorcas_Aurelia
Posts: 5344 Location: Philly |
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Still reworking my spreadsheet stuff to make results and stuff neat, so far now I'm just gonna list the minigame results from the first round. If your score doesn't match what you think you should have, send me a pm and I'll check it again.
Remember, it's 2 points per correct guess for the first rounds.
Also, I apologize about the huge blank space in the post. I'm not sure why that's happening, but I think it has something to do with the HTML "table" tag. |
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Ggultra2764
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Posts: 3966 Location: New York state. |
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Let's see if I can do some cleanup on the Trust and Betrayal summary so it isn't as lengthy with details.
Rurouni Kenshin: Trust and Betrayal, "The Man of the Slashing Sword" Type of Series: Historical action/ drama Synopsis: The master swordsman of Hiten Mitsurugi, Hiko Seijuro, saves the life of a boy named Shinta who is the sole survivor of his caravan getting attacked by bandits. When Hiko later comes across the boy, he is shocked to see that Shinta had buried the corpses of the bandits and their victims and made grave markers for them. Taking the boy under his wing and renaming him Kenshin Himura, Hiko trains Kenshin in Hiten Mitsurugi sword techniques. When Kenshin is a teen, conflict arises between the Ishin Shishi (nationalist patriots) and the Tokugawa shogunate over Japan's future. This leads Kenshin to abandon further teachings in Hiten Mitsurugi and have a falling out with Hiko to aid the Ishin Shishi in their efforts against the shogunate. Kenshin becomes infamous among the shogunate as a merciless young assassin named Hitokiri Battousai who is tasked with slaying major figures within the Tokugawa shogunate while serving under the young lord, Katsura Kogoro. Kenshin acquires the first half of his cross-scar after killing the bodyguard Kiyosato Akira and later comes across a young woman named Tomoe who witnessed one of his slayings and passes out from being drunk. What Makes It Great: Trust and Betrayal's first episode makes a strong impression from the start to those who seen the Rurouni Kenshin TV series. Gone are the light-hearted moments exhibited by Kenshin and the show's slapstick comedy as you become exposed to the violent and tragic past that Kenshin experienced in this first episode as you are exposed to a far more darker, violent and serious twist to the series franchise. The episode offers a good amount of depth to Kenshin's character to show you how he became involved in Hiten Mitsurugi and became an assassin as you can certainly see that the many killings that the young man executed for Katsura's cause have affected him mentally to the point where he's emotionally hardened and focused solely on helping with the Ishin Shishi's efforts. Tomoe's appearance at the end of the episode serves as an effective hook to get you into later episodes as Kenshin experiences doubt over having to slay an innocent bystander who witnessed his latest murder. The episode's overall presentation does enough to stick out with its scenery and character designs drawn in realistic detail and fight sequences being fluid, quick and intense as they occur. The musical score consists of energetic and dramatic musical tracks that flow effectively with the episode's intense moments. If Ikari1 and anyone else has no problem with this entry, feel free to use it as a replacement for Trust and Betrayal's entry information. |
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Errinundra
Moderator
Posts: 6584 Location: Melbourne, Oz |
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This is another great set of match-ups, with six deserving contenders in three difficult match-ups.
Group A-5 FLCL vs. Detroit Metal City Viewing history: Watched FLCL on-line just over two years ago; first exposure to DMC. Is the first episode good enough to entice me to watch the rest of series? Yes, for both. I didn’t much enjoy FLCL first time around, possibly because the quality of the stream was so poor. Re-watching the first episode via a much superior download really highlighted what I had missed previously. It’s a visual treat and a great piece of theatre, even if the story is on the thin side. Even first time around I loved the music from the Pillows, especially the ending theme, Ride on a Shooting Star. On the basis of this re-watch of just the first episode I’ve upped the rating from so-so to decent in My Anime. (Re-watching the rest of it may have me upping it even further.) Detroit Metal City had me laughing out loud before the opening credits had gone ten seconds, though I won’t go quite as far as the Death Records President to describe the pleasure I experienced. Catch is, it comes across as a bit of a one-idea show. A re-watch didn’t have the same impact. Voting for: FLCL because it’s a joy to look at more than just once. Group A-6 Time of Eve vs. Serial Experiments Lain Viewing history: I have the Japanese release BD of Time of Eve and a DVD release of Serial Experiments Lain. I have watched both first episodes mutlitple times (though in Lain’s case I’ve only watched the complete series twice.) Is the first episode good enough to entice me to watch the rest of series? Absolutely. Did and did. Although I think Time of Eve is the better series (Lain’s “science” gets decidedly wobbly and, second time around, some episodes can be a bit of a chore), and it’s first episode is a great introduction to characters, the world and the themes of the series, it cannot match one of the strongest contenders in this tournament. Serial Experiments Lain’s first episode is a visual tour de force. Some examples are given in the nomination but my favourite moment is when Lain walks down the front steps of her house – the sense of isolation, of being disconnected, is powerfully presented with extreme economy of means. Add to the mix a smashing OP, a simultaneously sweet and creepy main character, emails from beyond the grave, and an aura of unease, and you have one of my all time favourite first episodes. Voting for: Serial Experiments Lain Group A-7 Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion vs. Great Teacher Onizuka Viewing history: First exposure to CG; watched GTO on-line late last year. Is the first episode good enough to entice me to watch the rest of series? No for both. I watched GTO despite the first episode. Warning: semi-coherent rant ahead. I wasted twenty hours of my life last year thanks to the excruciatingly boring GTO. I watched it largely because of its ranking here at ANN and the occasional glowing mention in the forums. I remember after the first episode wondering what on earth all the fuss was about. I decided to give it more of a go and hoped that, with the arrival of the Kotono Mitsuishi character after ten episodes or so, things might pick up. Well, the hetero-chromatic Urumi Kanzaki did improve the show, but it was still a chore to watch. I really shouldn’t be such a completist. It would have saved me a lot of grief. And then Ggultra2764* had to go and nominate this sludge for the best first episode. How? Why? It’s crap. And then five other people had to go and support the nomination. Christ! That meant I had to, for the sake of objectivity, go and watch it again. So, there I was watching it, trying to keep my attention on the screen. Twenty minutes goes by and I'm thinking to myself, “There’s still a fair bit to cover... YOU SODS! IT’S A DOUBLE LENGTH EPISODE. I HAVE SIT THROUGH THIS CRAP FOR A WHOLE 48 MINUTES.” I tell ya, that last twenty five minutes I had to take a couple of minutes at a time – it was such a struggle to get through. Admittedly the sledgehammer moment did lift the show’s pulse for a moment or two. And yes, the OP is quite good and I like the jaunty rhythm guitar with its flat acoustic in the ED. But they aren’t much to hang a first episode on. Seriously, if we had a worst first episode tournament I’d nominate this. CG isn’t the sort of show that appeals to me, nor is its first episode, though I have to admit the moment when Lelouch gets his powers from the green haired girl is well done. But it did maintain my interest for the entire, and thankfully only, 24 minutes. Voting for: Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion * In fairness to Ggultra2764, I voted for more of their nominations than anybody else’s. Group A-8 Rurouni Kenshin Trust and Betrayal OVA vs. Welcome to the NHK Viewing history: I have both series on DVD – I’ve watched Rurouni Kenshin several times and, although I’ve only watched NHK right through once, I have watched the first episode additional times. Is the first episode good enough to entice me to watch the rest of series? Definitely. Woe is me! Two great first episodes pitted against each other in the first round. It’s difficult to compare them, as they are so different in style and genre: one is a razor sharp satirical comedy; the other is the epitome of the action drama genre (and razor sharp in its own way). I put Rurouni Kenshin slightly ahead because the the first episode has that indefinable quality that makes it altogether special. (Things fall over in the final episode, but that isn’t relevant here, of course.) It has some faults which may bring it down against stronger rivals, but, as good as NHK is, RK is more compelling, more of the time. Voting for: Rurouni Kenshin: Trust and Betrayal Note for people watching Rurouni Kenshin for the first time: the English language dub fully deserves its notorious reputation. Last edited by Errinundra on Wed Apr 04, 2012 2:23 am; edited 7 times in total |
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Ggultra2764
Subscriber
Posts: 3966 Location: New York state. |
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To each their own I suppose, even though I'm voting against it in its present matchup. Wait until we get to the second half of Group B since I'll have similar sentiments for a few of the titles in the bracket, ugh. |
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Ikari1
Posts: 531 Location: London |
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If it's not good enough then it's not good enough simple as that. To be honest I think I've spent enough time and effort on this to try and make it to everybodies tastes so Ill just let everyone do as they want now with the write up. Key needs this sorted ASAP to be able to get on with the tourney so ill leave this in much more capable hands. At least I've learnt of my mistakes this time round and know not to do it again. Cheers Dean |
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marie-antoinette
Posts: 4136 Location: Ottawa, Canada |
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If it makes you feel better, errinundra, I'm pretty much with you, though since I've only seen the first episode of GTO I'm not really angry at it, just bored. That said, IMO it is not the worst thing being voted for in this group, that dubious honour goes to FLCL's first episode, which I have had to sit through multiple times and which makes less sense each time I did.
The upside to this is that I only have to watch the Kenshin OVA this round to decide what I am going to vote for. Of course, I also need to carve out a time in which I can actually do that much. |
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Tris8
Posts: 2114 Location: Where the rain is. |
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Group A-5
FLCL vs. Detroit Metal City FLCL receives my vote. The sheer wtf factor keeps me watching, but that alone rarely grabs me. When combined with a wacky high-energy female lead, I really wanted to find out what the heck was going on. Not to mention the interesting relationship between Naota and Mamimi, and robots coming out of a guy's head. Group A-6 Time of Eve vs. Serial Experiments Lain I feel very sad that I have to vote against Lain, but I found Time of Eve to be vastly superior in its first episode. Lain was confusing in its first episode, yet didn't produce the irresistible draw that FLCL did with its confusion. It was still interesting, and I found my interest piqued, but that's not enough to beat the I've-got-to-watch-the-next-ep-now feeling I got from Time of Eve. When they showed the Time of Eve cafe for the first time, I got shivers down my spine. This special, secret place had been revealed to the protagonists and who knows what things could be discovered there? It wasn't unexpected when they discovered Akiko was an android, but the huge difference in the way she acted was a shock, and that it was robots who were interested in learning about humans. Group A-7 Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion vs. Great Teacher Onizuka GTO's first ep had some good parts, but Code Geass's first ep easily gets my vote. The mystery, action, and world set-up it does in the first episode makes it a top contender. Group A-8 Rurouni Kenshin Trust and Betrayal OVA vs. Welcome to the NHK[/quote] Welcome to the NHK wasn't my kind of show. Nothing really connected with me. Rurouni Kenshin on the other hand does a great job of showing us what Kenshin is made of. In the first episode, we learn his background and how his ideals have led him to be an assassin. This dark tale really drew me in. |
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farichada
Posts: 303 Location: Wisconsin, USA |
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Group A-5
FLCL vs. Detroit Metal City FLCL all the way. Enough unique artistry and "wtf moments" to make me want to see the next episode. Bonus points for originality, zaniness and just plain ol' fun. Group A-6 Time of Eve vs. Serial Experiments Lain Both shows are solid, but I prefer the polished storytelling that Time of Eve used over just relying out shock value at a slow and sluggish pace like SEL. It wasn't until more was explained with Lain that I knew it was a gem; with Time of Eve I knew I had something special just after one episode. Group A-7 Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion vs. Great Teacher Onizuka GTO has the titular character going for it, but overall that first episode was mess and lacked focus. Code Geass wastes no time, and knows exactly what it is trying to accomplish. We are thrown into head deep into mystery, intrigue, action and a few memorable characters. Group A-8 Rurouni Kenshin Trust and Betrayal OVA vs. Welcome to the NHK NHK is a fun a show and sure it is an unique first episode but compared to Rurouni Kenshin it pales in comparison due to having a truly immersive story to tell with well developed character just from the first episode. I also hate for quality to be a factor here, but overall the quality of everything that make an anime good was superior in the TaB OVA, storytelling, characters, animation, writing, etc. Last edited by farichada on Sun Apr 08, 2012 2:21 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Spastic Minnow
Bargain Hunter
Exempt from Grammar Rules Posts: 4630 Location: Gainesville, FL |
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Yes, the following was done intentionally. Farichada's opinions on 3 out of 4 of these echo mine so closely, I copied much of it.
Group A-5 FLCL vs. Detroit Metal City Voting for: FLCL Enough unique artistry and "wtf moments" to make me want to see the next episode. Bonus points for originality, zaniness and just plain ol' fun. Not to say DMC isn't excellent, I might rate it second in this entire A/2 grouping for the unique and hilarous humor and shock value, but it doesn't quite measure up to FLCL. Group A-6 Time of Eve vs. Serial Experiments Lain Voting for: Time of Eve I prefer the polished storytelling that Time of Eve used over the slow and sluggish pace like SEL. The memory of the boredom was so strong I haven't even bothered rewatching it; with Time of Eve I knew I had something special just after one episode. Group A-7 Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion vs. Great Teacher Onizuka Voting For: Great Teacher Onizuka Ah, the battle of annoying lead characters of shows I don't like. But Geass was so bad that I originally didn't even make it past the freeway chase. I forced myself through the entire thing this time and found my initial reaction justified. A pompous lead, a cliched alternate world set-up, those stupid class-superior antagonists that I can't stand. I struggled against arguing against it because it feels so much like personal opinion, I really do feel that I've seen it all before, and that's a good objective reason to vote against it. The problem with GTO for me was more clearly personal indifference, I didn't find the humor all that funny. But you know what? I did really like that final thing at the end of the double-long first ep with Onizuka breaking through the wall with the sledgehammer. I may not like him, but I found him much more of an intriguing character than Lelouch of the cliched sinister sneer. Group A-8 Rurouni Kenshin Trust and Betrayal OVA vs. Welcome to the NHK Voting For: Rurouni Kenshin NHK is a fun a show and sure it is an unique first ep, but compared to Rurouni Kenshin it pales in comparison due to having a truly immersive story to tell with well developed character just from the first ep. I also hate for quality to be factor here, but overall the quality of everything that make an anime good was superior in the TaB OVA, storytelling, characters, animation, writing, etc. Plus, NHK was often just tooo jarring with its obnoxiousness, it was so forced it repelled me a bit. Last edited by Spastic Minnow on Mon Apr 09, 2012 1:24 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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