Good morning, evening, whatever time of day it is you damn kids are done checking your MySpaces and whatnot and start to read other websites. This is The Click, rising from the ashes of ANN's server crash like so many malnourished zombies, ready to ravage the land of TV grids and listings in order to pick out the juiciest, freshest anime programs for your consumption.

But before we get into all of that, I just wanted to share with everyone a fantastic dream I had the other night. No, not a dream; a vision. Look, we all know anime on TV targeted towards adults is simply circling the drain, for a number of reasons: casual audiences aren't ready to watch cartoons that take themselves more seriously than South Park; hardcore anime fans are too uptight to watch dubbed, time-shortened episodes of shows they've already seen; the timeslots given to these shows are terrible and they receive no promotion. We know all that. But then I started thinking, what if, to follow in Spike TV's footsteps with their forthcoming Afro Samurai, a show was produced to fit almost perfectly with the tastes of the coveted 18-34 demographic?

And then, one night, such a thing appeared to me. “MANNIX: The Anime.” Yes, hard-drinkin’, hard-fightin’ tough guy Joe Mannix, back in the saddle in a not-too-distant dystopian future where only his two fists and lots of car chases separate justice from, uh, injustice. There were also lots and lots of cool-looking aliens and robots. And instead of his sassy black secretary, Anime Mannix From the Future has a cute, spunky little girl orphan (to, y'know, get that “moe” crowd watching) as well as her lovably ostentatious mecha guardian to handle his paperwork. In a pinch, the two can team up to form MOE-BOT, which Anime Mannix From the Future uses to mow down bad guys and is also in negotiations with several leading toy manufacturers for marketing purposes. In short, lots of action, no pretension, and drama in the form of drinking, fistfights, and exploding cars. With robot and aliens. When I awoke, I knew I had been guided by some divine force, telling me to preach this message on high from the tallest pedestal: “A Mannix anime would solve ALL problems. Forever.”

… Listings? Yes. Remember, though, all times and dates are tentative, all times are eastern, adjust your VCRs and DVRs as necessary.

Eureka 7
(Cartoon Network)
Sunday June 4 1:30am - Episode 8 "Glorious Brilliance" (Repeats Sun Jun 4 4:30am)

It's Eureka 7, at its new, crappy time! Note that the show now starts at 1:30 in the a.m., as opposed to Midnight as it had been the previous seven weeks. Being bumped down an hour and a half, may not seem like a big deal, but when Eureka 7 is the ONLY show not in reruns on Adult Swim's Saturday night block, and it's been pushed down to the very end, something seems amiss. Ratings? They were bad, but it isn't like the rest of the lineup was doing much better. This is one of the few times I think I can believe the oft-touted platitude that “Adult Swim hates anime.” Of course they don't hate anime, but they certainly hate this particular anime.

Regardless of timeslot woes, this is a good episode. During a routine shopping trip, Renton, Eureka, and those darn kids run into a kindly old woman named Tiptory. When they join her for a spot of tea, Holland appears to tell them some shocking news. Not to run this into the ground or anything, but is this old woman more than she seems?!?

And while we're on the subject of things getting shafted at 1:30 in the morning, here's something else that caught my eye:

Paranoia Agent

(Cartoon Network)
-Tuesday June 6 1:30am – Episode 1 “Enter Lil’ Slugger” (Repeats Tue Jun 6 5:00am)
-Wednesday June 7 1:30am – Episode 2 “The Golden Shoes” (Repeats Wed Jun 7 5:00am)
-Thursday June 8 1:30am – Episode 3 “Double Lips” (Repeats Thu Jun 8 5:00am)
-Friday June 9 1:30am – Episode 4 “A Man's Path” (Repeats Fri Jun 9 5:00am)

Yes! Satoshi Kon's absolutely wonderful Paranoia Agent is back in reruns. At 1:30 in the morning. Seriously, don't sleep on this chance to watch what is probably my absolute favorite anime series of the past many years. You say you've seen it already? Watch it again. You say you own the DVDs? Buy them again, then watch them again, then TiVo these episodes on TV and watch those.

OTHER PREMIERES:

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo
(Cartoon Network)
Saturday June 3 10:00pm - Episode 31 "The Ultimate Five Assassins vs. Bo-Bobo All Stars!"

Cartoon Network? This show, Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo has over 30 episodes. Why does it not have a weekday strip yet? Naruto is getting one. One Piece and Zatch Bell have them. Kids, being too young to experience the wonders of mind-altering drugs on a daily basis, NEED this sort of program to warp their consciousness, every single afternoon/night. Just let that sink in for a bit, then get back to me.

Chrono Crusade
(Showtime Beyond)
Friday June 9 9:00pm - Episode 17 "Accomplices"

Unfortunately, my memory's a bit hazy on this show, and I can't seem to find any synopsises to aid my addled brain. So I'll just have to wing it. Rosette, who is a nun, fights… bad guys? But, she doesn't fly. Like the flying nun, who does. So, watch it.

Fullmetal Alchemist
(YTV)
Friday June 9 10:00pm - Episode 15 "The Ishbal Massacre" (Repeats Sat Jun 10 1:00am)

Ed and Al aid the fugitive Dr. Marcoh, who elucidates the naïve children on the true nature of the “Uprising” in Ishbal. But with Scar and nearly all of the military stationed at Central on high alert, the situation becomes a powder keg. Also, an explosion happens!

IGPX
(Cartoon Network)
Saturday June 3 10:30pm - Episode 16 "Vulnerable Mind"

For a show like this where neither I nor anybody else has seen the new episodes yet, I typically just use the “next episode” previews for reference. Unfortunately, I have no such luxury this week, as once again my DVR has failed me and neglected to record the previous episode of IGPX. Despite the fact that I told it to. Several times. So while I can't tell you what happens in this episode, I can tell you at least that it'll look really, really nice.

Inuyasha
(Cartoon Network)
Wednesday June 7 12:30am - Episode 149 "Single Arrow of Chaos" (Repeats Wed Jun 7 4:00am)

Inuyasha and the others, on a perilous quest to seek out and destroy the villainous Princess Abi and her evil nest of birds, must first get past the equally villainous Hakudoshi. (I have a hunch that they will do just that.)

(YTV)
Friday June 9 9:00pm - Episode 144 "Hosenki and the Last Shard" (Repeats Sat Jun 10 2:30am)

Inuyasha visits Hosenki as per Myoga's instruction, as Hosenki may wield the necessary tools to enter the afterlife and retrieve the final jewel shard. Unfortunately, Inuyasha didn't make an appointment, so he must wait in Hosenki's waiting room, reading Goofus and Gallant while irritating muzak plays.

Naruto
(Cartoon Network)
Saturday June 3 9:00pm - Episode 36 "Clone vs. Clone: Mine Are Better Than Yours!"

A band of tough but foolhardy ninjas from the Village Hidden in the Rain engage in a quick squabble with our spunky trio of protagonists. What should be an easy victory turns into a battle of personalities as the series’ writers attempt to get more mileage out of Naruto and Sasuke's petty rivalry.

One Piece
(Cartoon Network)
Saturday June 3 9:30pm - Episode 70 "Secret Beneath the Sand"

Our intrepid superpowered pirate crew becomes separated in the harsh desert, and with the wind blowing away each other's footprints, it seems they might be separated forever! Will they find each other, or will they merely attempt to launch a series of spinoff cartoons featuring said characters?

Pokemon
(KidsWB)
Saturday June 3 10:00am - Episode 412 "Hail to the Chef!"

Ash and his Pokemonning friends visit a restaurant where Pokemon are the chefs! How adorable! Though I do wonder, considering that the Pokemon universe is one where every single species of animal aside from humans is a Pokemon, what exactly do they eat as far as meat is concerned? Are these chef Pokemon cooking each other? Or are we in some kind of maniacal, Soylent Green situation here? Oh, the implications are far-reaching…

Pokemon Chronicles
(Cartoon Network)
Saturday June 3 7:00pm - Episode 1 "The Legend of Thunder, Part 1"

It's the US premiere of Pokemon Chronicles, a spinoff series that essentially cobbles together some of the various specials, OAVs, and theatrical shorts aired in Japan over the years into one generic series. And when I say “US premiere,” I mean to say that this series has already aired elsewhere – in the UK and Canada, to be precise. Nonetheless, if you're curious, go ahead and watch, though by all accounts this show is pretty rank.

Samurai 7
(Independent Film Channel)
Saturday June 3 10:30pm - Episode 10 "The Journey" (Repeats Sun Jun 4 1:30am, Thu Jun 8 10:30pm)

With the knowledge that Nobuseri's fierce, bloodthirsty militia will be hunting them down any second, Kambei encourages the other Samurai to return to Kanna's aid at once. I'd offer a snarky comment, but I think I've tapped out my snark reservoir.

Yu-Gi-Oh!
(KidsWB)
Saturday June 3 11:30am - Episode 223 "The Final Duel, Part 3"

I'm edging dangerously close to my deadline as it is, so I'm just going to rocket through this; Yugi fights a bad guy, Atem, for the FATE OF THE WORLD, and this is part 3 of that fight. There.

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX
(YTV)
Saturday June 3 12:00pm - Episode 37 "Duel Distractions, Part 2"

The “Duel” in this title refers to the fact that they are “dueling” using cards, and the “distractions” refers to how, in the plot of this episode, Jaden, the main character, is frequently distracted by the feminine wiles of his opponent. (Insert antiquated, 1950's-era sexist comment.)

Zatch Bell
(Cartoon Network)
Saturday June 3 8:00pm - Episode 54 "Battle in the Park: Zatch vs. Kiyo?!"

Once again I find myself in the quandary of “I haven't seen this episode, I'd have to watch the ‘next episode’ preview but I can't, and there's no synopsis!” All I can say is, there seems to be something involving the “Millennium Mamodos” if what I'm reading on this here internet is to be trusted? Alas. Just watch and you'll get the synopsis, but in real time.

MOVIES/SPECIALS

Blood: The Last Vampire
(Encore Action)
Wednesday June 7 1:00am

Dead Leaves
(Encore Action)
Wednesday June 7 12:00am

It's a double-feature of hour-long, hyperviolent, awesomely animated but poorly plotted Production I.G. films! Honestly, I think the two films compliment each other nicely – Blood's stronger narrative should help wash out the bad taste left by Dead Leaves’ hyperkinetic, rambling structure. Plus, as mentioned, there's a boatload of action and violence in both and enough grotesque sex in Dead Leaves to satisfy anybody's prurient side. Enjoy!

And now, repeats. I unfortunately lacked the time to come up with episode numbers for these, but, uh, you guys'll be fine, right? Right! See you next week.

REPEATS/STRIPS

Battle B-Daman
(YTV)
-Tue Jun 6 3:30pm - Episode  "Watt Are You Waiting For?"
-Thu Jun 8 3:30pm - Episode  "With a Little Help From My Friends"

(Cartoon Network)
-Fri Jun 9 6:00am - Episode  "The Rapid and the Powerful"

Beyblade
(Toon Disney)
-Sat June 3 2:30am - Episode  "See No Bit Beast, Hear No..."

(YTV)
-Sat Jun 3 5:30am - Episode  "Brooklyn's Back"
-Sat Jun 3 1:00pm - Episode  "Crouching Lion, Hidden Tiger"
-Tue Jun 6 5:30am - Episode  "The Blade Rider"
-Wed Jun 7 5:30am - Episode  "Day of the Dragoon"
-Thu Jun 8 5:30am - Episode  "Take It to the Max!"
-Fri Jun 9 5:30am - Episode  "The Qualifier Begins"

Chrono Crusade
(Showtime Beyond)
-Mon Jun 5 12:00am - Episode  "Believer" (R Fri Jun 9 12:50am)

Cowboy Bebop
(Cartoon Network)
-Fri Jun 9 12:30am - Episode  "Brain Scratch"

Digimon
(ABC Family)
-Sat Jun 3 7:00am - Episode  "Etemon's Comeback Tour"
-Sun Jun 4 7:00am - Episode  "Ogremon's Honor"

(Toon Disney)
-Sat Jun 3 9:00pm - Episode  "Workin' on the Train Gang" (R Sun Jun 4 2:30am)
-Sun Jun 4 9:00pm - Episode  "My Brother in Spirit" (R Sun Jun 4 2:30am)
-Tue Jun 6 9:30pm - Episode  "Trash Day" (R Wed Jun 7 2:30am)
-Wed Jun 7 9:30pm - Episode  "The Ultimate Clash" (R Thu Jun 8 2:30am)
-Thu Jun 8 9:30pm - Episode  "Etemon's Comeback Tour" (R Fri Jun 9 2:30am)

Dragon Ball GT
(YTV)
-Sat Jun 3 3:30am - Episode "Dragonballs Unleash Their Inner Evil"

Dragon Ball Z
(Cartoon Network)
-Sat Jun 3 7:30pm - Episode  "Battle in Kami's Lookout"

Fullmetal Alchemist
(Cartoon Network)
-Sat Jun 3 11:30pm - Episode  "The Other Brothers Elric, Part 1" (R Sun Jun 4 2:30am)
-Tue Jun 6 12:30am - Episode  "His Name is Unknown" (R Tue Jun 6 4:00am)

G.I. Joe Sigma 6
(4KidsTV)
-Sat Jun 3 10:30am - Episode 12 "Zeus, Part 1"

Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex
(YTV)
-Sat Jun 3 12:00am - Episode  "Portraitz"

(Cartoon Network)
-Sun Jun 4 12:00am - Episode  "Section 9" (R Sun Jun 4 3:00am)

Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex 2nd GIG
(Cartoon Network)
-Thu Jun 8 12:30am - Episode  "Make Up"

Gundam SEED
(YTV)
-Fri Jun 9 9:30pm - Episode  "Into the Dawn Skies" (R Sat Jun 10 2:00am)

Inuyasha
(Cartoon Network)
-Sat Jun 3 11:00pm - Episode  "The Woman Who Loved Sesshomaru, Part 2" (R Sun Jun 4 2:00am)

Magical DoReMi
(4KidsTV)
-Sat Jun 3 7:00am - Episode  "Mirabelle's Blues"
-Sat Jun 3 7:30am - Episode  "Down in the Dumps"

Mirage of Blaze
(Encore WAM)
-Sat Jun 3 4:30pm - Episode  "Premonition of a Chain Reaction" (R Sun Jun 4 1:30am, 6:30am)
-Sun Jun 4 4:30pm - Episode  "Endless Conflict" (R Mon Jun 5 1:30am, 6:30am)
-Mon Jun 5 4:30pm - Episode  "Golden Emblem" (R Tue Jun 6 1:30am, 6:30am)
-Tue Jun 6 4:30pm - Episode  "Memories of Hateful Anguish" (R Wed Jun 7 1:30am, 6:30am)
-Wed Jun 7 4:30pm - Episode  "At the End of Obsession" (R Thu Jun 8 1:30am, 6:30am)
-Thu Jun 8 4:30pm - Episode  "Endless Void" (R Fri Jun 9 1:30am, 6:30am)
-Fri Jun 9 4:30pm - Episode  "Sorrowful Betrayal" (R Sat Jun 10 1:30am, 6:30am)

Naruto
(Cartoon Network)
-Sat Jun 3 12:00am - Episode  "Akamaru Trembles: Gaara's Cruel Strength"
-Sat Jun 3 8:30pm - Episode  "The Scroll's Secret: No Peeking Allowed!"

(YTV)
-Fri Jun 9 8:00pm - Episode 26 "Special Report: Live From the Forest of Death" (R Sat Jun 10 2:00am)

Neon Genesis Evangelion
(Cartoon Network)
-Tue Jun 6 1:00am - Episode  "Fourth Child" (R Tue Jun 6 4:30am)
-Wed Jun 7 1:00am - Episode  "Ambivalence" (R Wed Jun 7 4:30am)
-Thu Jun 8 1:00am - Episode  "Introjection" (R Thu Jun 8 4:30am)
-Fri Jun 9 1:00am - Episode  "Weaving a Story II" (R Fri Jun 9 4:30am)

One Piece
(YTV)
-Sat Jun 3 4:00am - Episode  "The Red Footed Pirate"

(Cartoon Network)
-Mon Jun 5 10:00pm - Episode  "Wanted!"
-Tue Jun 6 10:00pm - Episode  "Roguetown"
-Wed Jun 7 10:00pm - Episode  "Switched Blades"
-Thu Jun 8 10:00pm - Episode  "Sanji Sizzles"

Pokemon
(YTV)
-Tue Jun 6 5:00pm - Episode  "Clamperl of Wisdom"
-Wed Jun 7 5:00pm - Episode  "Really, Really Relicanth"
-Thu Jun 8 5:00pm - Episode  "Evolutionary War"
-Fri Jun 9 5:00pm - Episode  "Training Wrecks"

Pokemon Chronicles
(YTV)
-Sat Jun 3 5:00am - Episode  "Of Meowth and Pokemon"

Samurai Champloo
(Cartoon Network)
-Sun Jun 4 1:00am - Episode  "Artistic Anarchy" (R Sun Jun 4 4:00am)

Sonic X
(4KidsTV)
-Sat Jun 3 10:00am - Episode "A Metarex Melee"

Transformers Cybertron
(YTV)
-Sat Jun 3 1:30pm - Episode TBA

(Cartoon Network)
-Mon Jun 5 6:00am - Episode  "Primal"
-Tue Jun 6 6:00am - Episode  "Trust"
-Wed Jun 7 6:00am - Episode  "Trap"
-Thu Jun 8 6:00am - Episode  "Invasion"

Vandread
(Encore WAM)
-Sat Jun 3 4:00pm - Episode  "Second Stage: Original Smile" (R Sun Jun 4 1:00am, 6:00am)
-Sun Jun 4 4:00pm - Episode  "Second Stage: Please Kiss My Cheek" (R Mon Jun 5 1:00am, 6:00am)
-Mon Jun 5 4:00pm - Episode  "Second Stage: Reality" (R Tue Jun 6 1:00am, 6:00am)
-Tue Jun 6 4:00pm - Episode  "Second Stage: Embrace Everything" (R Wed Jun 7 1:00am, 6:00am)
-Wed Jun 7 4:00pm - Episode  "Second Stage: Easy Come, Easy Go" (R Thu Jun 8 1:00am, 6:00am)
-Thu Jun 8 4:00pm - Episode  "Second Stage: Paradise" (R Fri Jun 9 1:00am, 6:00am)
-Fri Jun 9 4:00pm - Episode  "Second Stage: Secret" (R Sat Jun 10 1:00am, 6:00am)

Viewtiful Joe
(KidsWB)
-Sat Jun 3 8:00am - Episode  "What's-His-Name to the Rescue!"

Yu-Gi-Oh!
(YTV)
-Sat Jun 3 4:30am - Episode  "Self Destruction"
-Tue Jun 6 4:30am - Episode  "Reliving the Past"
-Wed Jun 7 4:30am - Episode  "Deck of Armor"
-Thu Jun 8 4:30am - Episode  "Flight of Fear, Part 1"
-Fri Jun 9 4:30am - Episode  "Flight of Fear, Part 2"

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX
(Cartoon Network)
-Sat Jun 3 6:30pm - Episode  "The King of Copycats, Part 1"
-Mon Jun 5 5:00pm - Episode  "Doomsday Duel, Part 1"
-Tue Jun 6 5:00pm - Episode  "Doomsday Duel, Part 2"
-Wed Jun 7 5:00pm - Episode  "Field of Screams, Part 1"
-Thu Jun 8 5:00pm - Episode  "Field of Screams, Part 2"
-Fri Jun 9 5:00pm - Episode  "Field of Screams, Part 3"

Zatch Bell
(Cartoon Network)
-Mon Jun 5 4:30pm - Episode  "Invitation to a Duel"
-Tue Jun 6 4:30pm - Episode  "Zatch vs. Bari"
-Wed Jun 7 4:30pm - Episode  "Ponygon's Close Call"
-Thu Jun 8 4:30pm - Episode  "Rumble in the Snow"
-Fri Jun 9 4:30pm - Episode  "The Mystery of the Stone Tablets"